Alone on the railroad track
I walked with pounding heart.
The ties were too close together
or maybe too far apart.
The scenery was impoverished:
scrub-pine and oak; beyond
its mingled gray-green foliage
I saw the little pond
where the dirty old hermit lives,
lie like an old tear
holding onto its injuries
lucidly year after year.
The hermit shot off his shot-gun
and the tree by his cabin shook.
Over the pond went a ripple
The pet hen went chook-chook.
"Love should be put into action!"
screamed the old hermit.
Across the pond an echo
tried and tried to confirm it.
A smart, elegant poem with bold expression. I expect a friend to read it, too.
The hermit shot off his shot-gun and the tree by his cabin shook. Over the pond went a ripple The pet hen went chook-chook
This poem is moderately good but not suitable for this category.
A great poem in the section, so well chosen. I feel happy to have read it. Loved every imagery, especially the old tear holding onto the injuries. Sounds great. 10+++++++.
an intriguing poet- -wow- have to read this again- want to read this again- -its immediacy is so vibrant and the last two lines resonate especially
People's suffering is described using elements of nature. The poem is a prayer for true saving love. The suffering of the hermit is in contrast to that of the world that is hopeless.
Yes! ! ! Love should be put into action! ! Thanks for sharing this poem with us.
The scene painted along the railroad tracks is familiar, well-rendered. My mind goes to how this mode of transportation, once so important, that once made a few quite rich—in part from government handouts—has sunk from prominence. A weird connection perhaps, but Shelley’s Ozymandias—for comparison—comes to mind. -GK
I think this poem is gorgeous. It's marked as one of my favorite. And I'm just a bit in awe/love with the author.