Ruthy Fernandez

Rookie (02-03 / Manhattan)

Confusions Hallway - Poem by Ruthy Fernandez

Confusions hallway of clutter
Laughter echoes from it’s walls
My voice gets muffled by the silence of discontented feelings of uncertainty
There is no happiness or sadness
Just the vibrant colors from the wall, in which I have blended my being to
So vibrant that everyone can see me but not know that I am here.
The clutter from the emotions that have been subdued into piles of locked boxes for none to retrieve. So they take up space in that hallway
The laughter from the thousands of fake smiles and chuckles that been expressed from these lips to keep the truth from being exposed.
No voice because, I never knew that I was supposed to have one, so in it’s place vibrant colors to show that I am here why not look.
Confused because I thought I was happy but not really sure if that is what you call this feeling inside. It is not enough to make me run down the streets cheering that I am in love, and not enough that I can ignore it. It just sits there, mangled up in uncertainty. Discontented because I know that I was once happy, I know that I had loved, I know that I am here and people can see me, I know that they can hear me.
I.I.I.I.I.I. Am at confusions hallway full of clutter.
Clutter in which I have created to keep out the feelings of uncertainty, not happy or sad.
I mask myself with vibrant colors because I am not sure of what I am or how I feel.
I create the echoes of laughter as not to tell my true feelings.
I am confusions hallway
I am the clutter
I am the laughter
I am the vibrant colors
I am the voice that is silent


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Poem Submitted: Thursday, August 12, 2010

Poem Edited: Thursday, August 12, 2010


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