Crossroads Poem by Paul Stoned

That is not what she wants to hear She wants to hear that without her life will be unbearable. That she is the centre of your universe Lie if you have to but dontlet her think she doesnt matter to you at all

Very well-written Nomi keep it up.

very nice. stark. nothing to hide behind.

A very good poem this one Nomi P you write well

On the outside of course fine.... the hidden... never will be Home hitter.... all have experienced. Well done

i like the simplicity of your poems and this comment holds true for most of your writes.. but this one leaves me with a smile. a braveheart in misery. well done

I'd like to think they were more 'suggestion' than 'correction'. Am honoured to be included in your notes. Thanks. Paul.

Me again - Getting back to Edward below - You could of course use Both 'wordless' and 'unspoken' on separate occasions. However, to me 'unspoken' implies something unsaid - maybe some deep thought or feeling. On the other hand 'wordless' might (or might not!) be, just, well wordless. Just a thought. Keep typing. Paul.

You seem to 'smile bravely' quite often - little option I guess. Like the poem. Paul.

I think line one shd be 'wordless' instd of 'unspoken' If she turns 'once more' when did she turn the first time? Sorry to be so critical, but it is a very tender lyric. Sounds like a soldier's goodbye.