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Friday, April 29, 2005

Early Morning

Rating: 3.2
Early morning changes my colour,
Weakens my magnet for you to escape into sleep
I asked the girl in the corridor if she was a
Morning bird, she smiled then floated into the
Lacquered afternoon
So easy for her
Does she know of her boyfriends addiction?

The sea has tempted me from Europe
I can't abide by words; they are forever changing,
Working towards a plot for some insane script.

The funeral of a small town
Don't send flowers
Donate them to guilt
Innocence once held power
Now, not even a memory can realise the coup.

Her eyes open
The bliss of her portrait is shelved
I wish I could resolve with her the teeth that chew
My requirements.
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COMMENTS
Kim Barney 09 November 2015
Sorry, I may be half asleep today, but this poem doesn't make much sense to me. Anthony, I did notice one mistake that you will want to fix. Last line, first verse is missing an apostrophe: Does she know of her boyfriend's addiction?
0 0 Reply
Seema Jayaraman 09 November 2015
Don't send flowers, donate them to guilt.. very unique and interesting phrases used in this poem. thanks for sharing.
0 0 Reply
Anton K 09 November 2015
This reminds me of a lot of East Asian poetry - a joining of fragmentary images and impressions.
0 0 Reply
Rahman Henry 09 November 2015
Her eyes open The bliss of her portrait is shelved I wish I could resolve with her the teeth that chew My requirements. ... really liked it.....
1 0 Reply
Angela Hansard 03 May 2005
I liked your poem. It seems like you see all this in a dream. You have a great mind for imagineary thought. You have what it takes to also write a story book. Keep up the good work. Keep me posted on your plans. Always remember Jesus loves you and God does to. God also answers prayers.
1 0 Reply
Andy Konisberg 02 May 2005
Anthony, you e-mailed me about this poem...I really liked it...up until the penultimate line which seemed to spoil the pleasing semi-random, semi-thematical flow. I would suggest a lengthening of the poem to appropriately bookend an otherwise very attractive piece.
2 0 Reply
Peter A. Crowther 30 April 2005
Interesting and attractive imagery rather like a dream.
2 0 Reply
Rich Hanson 29 April 2005
The first section drew me in with its lovely images of the girl and the thought you inserted about her boyfriend. After that you lost me. I kept wondering, why paint the beautiful picture and then not refer to it but fleetingly in the last section? Maybe I'm missing something basic here, but if I am, the odds are other readers are too. Some memorable images, but no connecting thread.
2 0 Reply
Herbert Nehrlich1 29 April 2005
This is quite an interesting and unusual poem. Meaning I read a lot of things into it that may not be there... I like everything about the poem except the use of 'insane' where it is used. There needs to be a different word. H
2 0 Reply

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