Excuses! Excuses! ...Those Workshy Fobs Poem by Shaun Cronick

They prepare their legends in advance,
With a fake cough, splutter and a sneeze.
Feigning so many ills and ailments,
Using ill-gotten time off as they please.

I won't be able to come to work today,
For I have harsh hideous hallucinations.
I've caught a dose of that Amazon Fever,
And I haven't been there in generations.

I'm so sorry to inform everyone there,
It's impossible to make it in today.
For I've sold my soul to evil Lucifer,
And he's come to collect without delay.

Excuses, excuses the lies are piling up,
Fairy tales that shame the brothers Grimm.
Absurd, so unbelievable and astounding,
Read like a mantra, a songbook and a hymn

I'm simply not coming to work today,
I'm fed up and just don't give a damn.
For these are the words you never hear.
The real reasons behind a workshy scam.