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First Love

Rating: 4.0

I ne'er was struck before that hour
With love so sudden and so sweet,
Her face it bloomed like a sweet flower
And stole my heart away complete.
My face turned pale as deadly pale.
My legs refused to walk away,
And when she looked, what could I ail?
My life and all seemed turned to clay.

And then my blood rushed to my face

And took my eyesight quite away,
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COMMENTS OF THE POEM
R.k. Sharma 20 January 2012

I read the poem twelve years back but its last two lines are still echoing in my heart.

31 16 Reply
Kevin Straw 15 June 2010

Joseph - compare Yeats: First Love THOUGH nurtured like the sailing moon In beauty's murderous brood, She walked awhile and blushed awhile And on my pathway stood Until I thought her body bore A heart of flesh and blood. But since I laid a hand thereon And found a heart of stone I have attempted many things And not a thing is done, For every hand is lunatic That travels on the moon. She smiled and that transfigured me And left me but a lout, Maundering here, and maundering there, Emptier of thought Than the heavenly circuit of its stars When the moon sails out. One difference is that the technique and the thought/feeling are not out of sync in Yeats' poem. You have to realise that a poem may be flawed technically, and those flaws subtract from its intention.

23 19 Reply
Joseph Poewhit 15 June 2010

WOW - ZAP - Zing - WAM - BAM - OOPS - what more describes first love.

20 22 Reply
Kevin Straw 15 June 2010

This is not the best of Clare – there is a fair amount of “fiddling the books” to achieve scansion and rhyme: “her face it bloomed”, “stole my heart away complete”, pale as deadly pale”. “eyesight quite away” – take away the underlined words and you have a more vigorous poetry - but the last verse is free of these – one feels the poetic passion more aroused – you then begin to believe more in the poem. You could almost do without the first two verses, though “And when she looked, what could I ail? /My life and all seemed turned to clay.” is good – though “were” instead of “seemed” would be allowable. Also: “sweet” in each of the first two lines” is too sweet! And how, in fact, did his beloved’s face “bloom”? The poem creaks a little in pursuit of its form, and thus suspends the reader between belief and disbelief in the narrative. The full stop at the end of the fifth line is wrong.

12 30 Reply
Manonton Dalan 15 June 2010

haven if i haven't read john's poem first i wouldn't know that is base from somebody's poem...i tell you what yours is an expression of somebody who truly experienced it... i admire you for that...inovation ha!

12 27 Reply
Mahtab Bangalee 24 July 2020

She seemed to hear my silent voice, Not love's appeals to know. I never saw so sweet a face As that I stood before. My heart has left its dwelling-place And can return no more......beautiful poem penned on the deep feelings of first love

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Chinedu Dike 21 October 2019

Beautiful love poem elegantly crafted from the heart. Lovely and very passionate. Thanks for sharing.

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Susheela Shiju 31 July 2019

beautiful dear John! ! 10+++

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Mahtab Bangalee 30 July 2019

She seemed to hear my silent voice, Not love's appeals to know. I never saw so sweet a face As that I stood before.../// beautiful poem penned and shared

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Maria Ann 13 September 2018

very nice and touching

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