Hate Myself In The Morning Poem by krissi b'williams

I PROMISED myself, but i guess i lied once again
that i would not think of you....and i tried
but i cant help where ny thoughts are led
i cant help that i still care
i gave myself so many warnings, and i know
that if i let you n it go....i will hate myself in the morning

you just cant 4get nor erase your past
when your mind sublets space to the memories you left behind
no matter how hard you reject...alll that you dont care to remember
every memory you dont want to recall
has been imprinted 4ever
and thats no1s fault
but your brain....its like a frieght train

filled with inwanted memories..that you cant let go
you wish the train would fall of the track
so your mind would unload....
and then....never again
would them unwanted thoughts come back
how about that?

i picked up my phone, and listened to the dial tone
then this time...i pressed *67..and then your #
the call was blocked
when you picked up my call all of a sudden
that never...b4
i somely swear
did you ever
answer a blocked call
in all the times i was there
maybe you know its me...darn it..see
i gave myself so much warning
how i was gonna hate myself...in the morning! ! ! ! ! !

i got it now, i will just write a noe
all that ive been thinking about 2night
then i tear ip up, in the toilet, and watch it float....
swirl down the drain,
as if it were my pain...
and watch it swirl around, like the fragments of my brain
'my cell rang....i picked it up, yet didnt speak
i heard his voice say 'i know that it was you....
i never get hang...up call out of the blue
' i know your shy nor timid.
and i betcha your blushing, and dieng of shame this very minute
for all of a a sudden, being so weak
'your mad as hell...but not at me, more at yourself! ! ! ! ! '

and then the line went dead, and he was right, with every word he had just said
he broke up with me....n i broke up with him
we broke up together
eventually calling it quits at the end....
but no, i had to go
and let him realize........ley him know
that im not over him, i dont want it to be goodbye
god, i wanted to scream, yell out, and cry
and then bang my.....

Head until the memories were dead
see what did i say.....whaT DID I DO?
ive just proven to myself and to you....that 2day
and 2morrow, will be filled with regrets and sorrow
i am gonna hate myself....in the morning
cuz i never heeded to my hearts and mind
simple, but proven to be right warning