Spike Milligan

(16 April 1918 – 27 February 2002 / Ahmednagar)

Have A Nice Day

Poem by Spike Milligan

'Help, help, ' said a man. 'I'm drowning.'
'Hang on, ' said a man from the shore.
'Help, help, ' said the man. 'I'm not clowning.'
'Yes, I know, I heard you before.
Be patient dear man who is drowning,
You, see I've got a disease.
I'm waiting for a Doctor J. Browning.
So do be patient please.'
'How long, ' said the man who was drowning. 'Will it take for the Doc to arrive? '
'Not very long, ' said the man with the disease. 'Till then try staying alive.'
'Very well, ' said the man who was drowning. 'I'll try and stay afloat.
By reciting the poems of Browning
And other things he wrote.'
'Help, help, ' said the man with the disease, 'I suddenly feel quite ill.'
'Keep calm.' said the man who was drowning, ' Breathe deeply and lie quite still.'
'Oh dear, ' said the man with the awful disease. 'I think I'm going to die.'
'Farewell, ' said the man who was drowning.
Said the man with the disease, 'goodbye.'
So the man who was drowning, drownded
And the man with the disease past away.
But apart from that,
And a fire in my flat,
It's been a very nice day.


Comments about Have A Nice Day by Spike Milligan

  • Robert (3/9/2020 10:10:00 AM)

    I read this poem at a funeral as a last homage to my Dad who died of dementia last week. A refreshing change from the doom and gloom of the religious nonsense and I know he would have been laughing at it with me. This poem has multiple layers and every time I read it I see something new. Milligan was a mad genius!(Report)Reply

    0 person liked.
    1 person did not like.
  • Kayden Welgemoed (2/16/2019 10:27:00 AM)

    So funny but has a true meaning. I love it and is a poem I have not really heard of before.
    Awesome and crazy.
    I love Spike Milligan(Report)Reply

    2 person liked.
    1 person did not like.
  • Dave Jones (11/27/2018 3:05:00 PM)

    Spike Milligan, born 1912, died 2002. One of the funniest, wittiest British comedians of all time.
    He served in the Royal Artillery during WWII, and had the long lasting depression to show for it, but a way of dealing with it, along with Peter Sellers, Harry Secombe and others, created The Goons, a radio comedy programme from the 1950's to television up till his death in 2002.(Report)Reply

    3 person liked.
    2 person did not like.
  • Samuel (11/20/2018 10:35:00 PM)

    Such a wonderful poem(Report)Reply

    1 person liked.
    1 person did not like.
  • Dillian HansenDillian Hansen (10/11/2018 4:55:00 PM)

    I looked at my recent actions and ended up rereading this poem it still blows my mind, would you recommend any of your other poems to read?(Report)Reply

    1 person liked.
    1 person did not like.
  • Dillian HansenDillian Hansen (8/27/2018 6:10:00 AM)

    I love this poem it says so much while appearing like slapstick comedy, you are a very clever writer, keep it up(Report)Reply

    2 person liked.
    1 person did not like.
  • Ben AkinpelumiBen Akinpelumi (7/11/2018 9:47:00 AM)

    this is awesome(Report)Reply

    1 person liked.
    1 person did not like.
  • Beryl Williams (7/8/2018 5:33:00 PM)

    This is hilarious. The unforgettable, undefinable, inimitable Spike.(Report)Reply

    1 person liked.
    1 person did not like.
  • Brenda breunig (5/12/2018 7:55:00 PM)

    Careing(Report)Reply

    1 person liked.
    1 person did not like.
  • Poopully Radhakrishnan (4/8/2017 10:36:00 AM)

    Often We seek help from the wrong person who may be in a sinking state. (Report)Reply

    1 person liked.
    1 person did not like.
  • Sylvaonyema UbaSylvaonyema Uba (2/27/2017 2:10:00 AM)

    Nicely written piece of poem.

    Sylva(Report)Reply

    2 person liked.
    3 person did not like.
  • Tom Allport (12/21/2016 2:51:00 PM)

    I love the way Spike puts things into perspective(Report)Reply

    6 person liked.
    3 person did not like.
  • Bev JonesBev Jones (9/17/2015 3:37:00 PM)

    Lol x(Report)Reply

    9 person liked.
    7 person did not like.
  • Elton Tran (2/26/2015 3:11:00 PM)

    This is definitely one of his better poems: D(Report)Reply

    9 person liked.
    8 person did not like.
  • Savita TyagiSavita Tyagi (11/4/2014 7:31:00 PM)

    Trick for having a nice day is not to burden yourself with things that you can't help! Good light hearted poem to read.(Report)Reply

    9 person liked.
    9 person did not like.
  • Oduro Bright Amoh (11/4/2014 5:33:00 PM)

    Very pleasant and very soothing.(Report)Reply

    11 person liked.
    7 person did not like.
  • Kevin PatrickKevin Patrick (11/4/2014 3:07:00 PM)

    Perfect poem to read when having a bad day, I can see where the Python act got their best bits. The lesson learned When dying always remain calm, and never let it get you down. It has been a very nice day.(Report)Reply

    11 person liked.
    5 person did not like.
  • Kay Staley (11/4/2014 10:08:00 AM)

    Very pleasant and hints of being well written. I like the irony of the situation but I dont understand why you would write something like this. I do truly appreciate the lack of compassion and coldness that shines through in the most natural ways. Sometimes I wish we could all be emotionless.(Report)Reply

    8 person liked.
    7 person did not like.
  • John Richter (11/4/2014 7:46:00 AM)

    I think this was meant from the start to be humorous, and I think he well accomplished that! Certainly a pleasant read but it leaves me wondering if there was indeed a fire in his apartment that day....(Report)Reply

    Kim BarneyKim Barney(11/4/2014 6:31:00 PM)

    It most certainly was meant from the start to be humorous, and there was no fire. That was just his final touch, his punch line.

    6 person liked.
    7 person did not like.
  • Patricia GranthamPatricia Grantham (11/4/2014 7:39:00 AM)

    An enjoyable poem that was artistically written. Tale
    of two people that needed help. In the end both
    succumbed to death. Ultimately death gained the
    upper hand. Good.(Report)Reply

    4 person liked.
    6 person did not like.
Read all 33 comments »




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Read poems about / on: farewell, fire, poem



Poem Submitted: Wednesday, August 13, 2003

Poem Edited: Thursday, October 27, 2011


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