Her First Apartment Poem by Bill Cantrell

Be afraid,
Yes, be very afraid
Ready yourself for mental menopause
Keep the bridge polished in fear of an unexpected return,
that grace may mediate between you and 'I'm Back'
Be in fear when the ninja cockroach and you make eye contact
and you both turn your eyes at that can of raid,
yes, that empty can!
Suddenly your cover is blown,
for he has friends in low places
Did you bring your bedbug cannon?
Your best friends will be coffee, mustard and ketchup
If you do not bring a pet, then all is lost
Then there is the greatest terror where even shadows fear to tread,
that shocking moment when you realize you are out of toilet tissue
Yes, be very afraid!