I Am Still Alive Poem by Sk. Nurul Huda
I Am Still Alive
I am still alive for them only to take the sooth out of their eyes,
Only to keep my eyes closed on the facts, though open in disguise;
I am only to uproot God's planted knowledge conscience,
Only to test and trumpet the contradictory victory of science;
I am still alive only to try to create an Egdon (heath) there with tears,
Only to transfer the black and white board into red naturalizing fears;
I am still alive to escape suicide i.e. not to make the sublime sin,
Only to hide the soul's suicide by my self-dragging walking coffin;
I am still alive only to wait to hear the climactic question, 'Are you alive?
Only to aside its answer heard from the continents seven at least five;
I am still alive only to violate the laws of Aristotle and that of Horace's,
Only to make a metaphor smashing the lands created by God's forces;
I am still alive only to gather knowledge and wisdom to be powerful stupid,
Only to pretend to love the holy earth and humanity with the help of Cupid.
for 'God's planted knowledge conscience'...it is an allusion that follows:
in his book THE BASILICON DORON, written to teach his son, Henry, the ways of morality and kingly duties, James discusses CONSCIENCE beginning with the statement, ' conscience....it is nothing els but the light of knowledge that God hath planted in man, which choppet him with a feeling that he hath done wrong when ever he committeth any sinne...' (Basilicon Doron,17) .
for 'Egdon Heath': it is also an allusion.# It is a ficticious area in Thomas Hardy's novel-'The Return of the Native'.
the place is an example of Hardy's landscape reflecting the permanent human condition.
nobody in the novel is able to get out of the heath.Damon Wildeve and even the heroine Eustacia Vye who are frustrated by the heath are drawned in the weir in spite of their desperate desire to escape from the heath and live a life of gaiety, grander and passion in the fantastic cities.
i read Poet's Notes; thanks. that helps (some) with heath, but i still wonder about: sublime sin..........complete or extreme sin? ? i don't believe in God, or Christianity (or other religions; I mean FOR ME) , and therefore I don’t believe in sin. i think suicide is a 'good' thing to have for some people. i think more people should make use of it. but i DO believe in seeking counseling first for many who may contemplate suicide seriously. i may use it if i live too many more years, whatever too many means; depends on more than years also. AND sooth …………..truth? AND: “contradictory victory of science; ” AND: Various other phrases and lines. But, I must say, the poem is extremely interesting. I’m sure some readers will find “wonder” in it. I mostly will just “wonder” AT it. =================================== Some of the more interesting lines (for me) : “Only to hide the soul's suicide by my self-dragging walking coffin; ” And: “Only to aside its answer heard from the continents seven at least five; ” ……..which two may be left off? Why? And: “I am still alive only to gather knowledge and wisdom to be powerful stupid, Only to pretend to love the holy earth and humanity with the help of Cupid.” Maybe I don’t understand BECAUSE I am “powerful stupid”! ! ! ? Bri :)
thank you very much...I am glad... sublime sin..I intend to say it..the biggest sin...yes it is absolute sin. yes...sooth here truth....the eyes want to say...of some people.. contradictory victory of science....I mean scientific inventions should be used to benefit mankind not to destroy them by bombs or tanks....
A very learned poem, Nurul. I fell for Thomas Hardy in college and occasionally even to this day reread his books- -and am astounded how these books change as I grow older! ! ! I am fond of a repetitive phrase used in poetry. It can make the heart of a poem thrum with intensity.
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
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4/26/2024 12:44:28 PM # 1.0.0.1119
Walking coffin! ! Thanks for sharing.