I'll Buy Me A Burger Poem by Barney Rooney

I'll Buy Me A Burger

Rating: 4.8

I'll buy me a burger that's sweet and cheap
get me a burger that fills
give me a burger that I can afford
for craving is the worst of life's ills

the minutes of eating give pleasure enough
for the years they steal from the bank
of this body that must take its chances
so for cheap meat I offer my thanks

thanks to the farmer who fatted the calf
the slaughterer who put it to death
the agent who sent it to Sweden and France
then decided that Holland was best

to the trucker who carted the rest of his load
to Cyprus and then Bucharest, I think,
once the best of the steak had been butchered
enjoyed fried or grilled with a drink

so they flailed the last of the carcass
and dyed it a delicate pink
then the chemist added the magic
for some parts of the animal stink

a 2 minute blast in the microwave
brings this prime organic freerange 100% Ulster bred pasture fed beef to life
sugars and spice and a nice fatty gloss
oozing and crying for that dollop of sauce

so I'll have a burger that's cheap and sweet
get mea large diet coke
give me a lover who is tidy and neat
and the pleasures of life are almost complete

if its true that the proof of the pudding
can only be found when you eat
well life could always be worse
live or die with the girth
and that's as much proof as you'll need

Thursday, October 30, 2014
Topic(s) of this poem: food
Denis Mair 05 March 2016

In my comment below I forgot to mention that your poem reminds me of a poem by Delmore Schwarz: The Heavy Bear Who Goes with Me.

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Denis Mair 21 February 2016

I have to make peace with the bear who goes with me. It's always cadging for a treat. The sensorium of flavor-smell-texture is marvelously compounded, and the stomach needs grist to turn its mill. It seems a shame not to use such well-set-up equipment. And if I deny the bear its accustomed screening session, its cadging soon turns into over-dramatization in some form, which is a bother. Something in me thinks of consequences- it's, the newspaper reader in me. But the bear is a hero in tight situations, and I trust it will come through in a pinch. This poem reminds me of Paul Simon's song /I Can Be Your Bodyguard/. The bear is the newspaper reader's bodyguard. In fact this is a serious poem.

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Sally Plumb Plumb 11 January 2016

I think I'll have a burger for lunch. Thanks!

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Roseann Shawiak 26 March 2015

Love this poem amusing, rhythmic and unique! An interesting and enjoyable read, well written with description from beginning to end. Thank you for sharing, RoseAnn

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Roseann Shawiak 26 March 2015

Love this poem, amusing, rhythmic and unquie! An interesting and enjoyable read, well written. Thank you for sharing, RoseAnn

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Cowboy Ron Williams 21 August 2020

I enjoyed this poem, Actually had to chuckle at the line " live or die with the girth" . Thanks for posting this.

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Bhagabat Prasad Hotta 03 November 2018

It is a good poem..........So nice..........Ok......

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Kim Barney 26 October 2018

I had to chuckle a few times reading this. I especially enjoyed you throwing that extra-long line in there (stanza six, line two) ! You have my last name first, and I have your first name last.

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Making meaningful the mundane is a powerful perspective to present. Nicely done my fiend.

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Kim Barney 07 March 2016

I've never thought of burgers as being sweet, but you are actually making me hungry!

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