I was traveling through the sands
In my small white car,
The work if idle hands,
Or at least so far.
It was half past three,
When the car got the shakes,
I knew what to do instantly
And slammed on the brakes.
I opened my door
And felt the desert’s fire,
At least the heat burned more
Than the thought of my tire.
I pulled out the spare
And threw out my back,
And yet another care,
No handle for the jack!
I’m sure to die
In this dreadful heat,
Only a passerby
Can make ends meet.
It was half past eight
When in my sight,
Much like fate,
Came a shimmering light.
The driver caught my eye
And I knew the look he gave,
It was my life passing by
Without a stop or a wave.
And so I chased
To avoid being stuck,
And I raced and raced
Without much luck.
And as I hurried
I tripped and fell
Upon a half buried
Rusty jack handle.
I drove through the night
And around half passed three,
Came a glimmering light
From the car who passed me.
He looked at me
And I glanced right back,
I could blatantly see
He only needed a jack.
The car slowed to my command,
For this life could be saved
With only the lending of a hand,
But I only smiled and waved.
Your right Alex this one is good and has promise...the sotry begins a little mundane which is good, then builds up strength...then toward the end you throw in the twist that this reader wasn't expecting..forcing me to back off.....and think... really think.....what's the mesage....revenge....equity...stupid is as stupid does.....that is the greatness of any poem....to create controversy and stir the emotion toward a process we often avoid....'rational thought'
I really like the way you set up the poem. You tell a story but I just know the end is going to be special. That is the key to story poems. Pure entertainment. That is what it is all about. Just wonderful! GW62
A fine visual littered piece of penned lines Keep expressing Jon
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
a nice writes..i smiled reading it, , good coz ur clock s functioning coz u recorded all the time, from half past three, and so on etcetera etcetera....very nice work alex.. naizz