(in Progress)if You Could See Poem by Kirax Fallen Angel
(in Progress)if You Could See
Everytime i think about it i laugh
I mean we are growing up so fast
Let's just live to forget the past
My heart like a red wine glass
Chips and cracks within it
But i still move on through it
The struggles burn like a fire pit
Like can i just be free
Like this is all that i need
Lemme tell you how i feel
You've been my muse for a long time
You might not understand but that's fine
The metallic blood like red wine
Flows within my heart line
I can't stop thinking about whats mine
If you really would listen this is
I knew I had a reason
It killed me like diseases
And you can hear it in my voice while I'm speaking
You know I can't be treated
tone for life- Let's just live to forget the past .... You've been my muse for a long time You might not understand but that's fine The metallic blood like red wine Flows within my heart line //// great progress in freezing and unfreezing lonely words of pathos. nice 10+++++
Congratulations that your poem is chosen as Member Poem Of The Day, Hurray! I have enjoyed the metaphors and the lovely but sad poem. Keep the pen wet and keep creating, Kirax. Thank you for sharing this intriguing poem. A 10++++++ for rating.
Everytime i think about it i laugh I mean we are growing up so fast Yes man is growing rapidly in thoughts but not in acts. Congrats! A lovely poem.
I like the images of the chipped wine glass and also the metaphor of the link between blood and wine. I also agree with Luis Estable that you need to work through the poem and develop the rhythm in it. Rhyme can suffer from repetition.
Well exposed intense passion towards life. Thanks and good wishes!
So touchingly and impressively inscribed the poem on sad love. Beautiful poem. Thanks and congratulations for being selected this poem as the poem of the day.
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
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4/23/2024 8:59:21 PM # 1.0.0.1119
Such a pitiful excuse for a poem. Please, Poem Hunter, give us something worth reading.