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~inside She's Dying~

Listen to her laughter
as she tells another one of her
hilarious anecdotes on life
(where she normally makes herself
the punchline)
We can't help but laugh....
she's so funny!

Watch her eyes shine
with the excitement
of knowing we're actually ''buying it''.
She really thinks she's fooling us.
See her bite her lip
as she tries
to hold back the tears.
(If they fall...
she'll just laugh through them
and it'll appear she laughed
so hard she cried.)

I see the fear
she hides deep inside
as it casts a shadow
over her eyes
and turns the bright blue
just a shade darker
than they should be.

I hear how her voice cracks
when she makes a joke
about herself.
I feel her pain as she looks
across the room at the door
like a hungry child
spotting a jelly-filled doughnut
sitting on the table...
just out of reach.

Inside she's dying.
Mary Nagy
Thursday, July 13, 2006
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COMMENTS
Nikki White 15 July 2006
Hi, I'm Nikki White- you read two of my poems. Yes, I am young and wanted to say thanks. Also, I really love this poem. I felt this way once. It is very well written and completely relatably (if that is a word lol) . Great job, again thanks.
0 0 Reply
Nalini Hebbar 14 July 2006
she seems to be looking for that somebody who finds her very interesting so that she no longer has to crack jokes about herself...loved it...nalini
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***** ********* 13 July 2006
I was wondering is she dying in your eyes because you can see she's not expressing her true self Mary? The thing is about truth and self, sometimes it is better to focus on the now and future, especially if there is pain and weakness in the old self. It really helps to keep moving forward, well it helps me. Good poem. We are all dying from the moment we are born and we all go about it our own way from my experience of life and people. Smiling at you, guessing this is a distant relative you write of? Tai
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Ernestine Northover 13 July 2006
Very well constructed Mary and very moving too. A picture painted with sadness. Love Ernestine XXX
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Danny Reynolds 13 July 2006
A tastefully done and sympathetic portrayal of the tragic comic, the tears of the clown or just the fragility hidden by the mask of humour? (Possibly the spirit of the Blitz, either not well carried off, or too well observed by the spectator?) Excellent Mary.
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Fran said it in one. You reach so much deeper than most, Mary. A bittersweet poem of the finest calibre. 'See her bite her lip as she tries to hold back the tears.(If they fall...she'll just laugh through them and it'll appear she laughed so hard she cried.) That is - SOOOO - IT. You go with honesty where most of us fear to tread. t x
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Bridgid Patrick 13 July 2006
Very moving poem Mary! I too have died inside. Many Times......best regards x
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Scarlett Treat 13 July 2006
Mary, I have been that girl laughing at herself before others could, and I know that feeling of dying inside. Thank you for putting it into words. Scarlett
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Duncan Wyllie 13 July 2006
What an astonishingly moving poem, rarely have I seen words as these that have the power to really move the spirit Amazing 10 without fail Love duncan x
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A fine penning, Mary, one of smooth flux, and well provisioned Imagery. Frank/FJR
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