Ted Sheridan


Katie Couric Has Just Been Charged In The Murder Of Cbs Evening World News - Poem by Ted Sheridan

I have a friend who lives in Washington
___the state not the District of Columbia
who felt tremendously removed from society
so much so that one day last month
while he was watching the news on TV
he finally realized just how disturbed he was
with all the crap happening in the world....
sitting there in his custom vibrating
massage and heat therapy lounger
he gave inside search as to the root cause
of his constant reoccurring fits of depression
his conclusion.....
TELEVISION.......
He told me this and I have no reason not to believe
it was at that very moment he got up from his
custom vibrating massage and heat therapy lounger
....unplugged the evil and demonic electronic device
from its life support and respirator....the wall
and carrying the demon over to a second story open window
he threw it out of his life forever.....
2 things need to be added at this point....
1 the TV was not a large screen plasma HDTV
2 the TV did not harm any animals when it landed two floors below
having said that...my friend insist his life is much better
he likes the fact that he can look out from that same window
which he hurled the TV....setting himself free
and he can see for himself if it is raining or sunny
holding his finger up he can tell from which direction
the wind is blowing and judging by whether
his comb over blows left or to the right....
he can discern its velocity within the margin of error....
my friend swears he is now a much happier man
and told me that I should try it too....
myself I prefer the medication.....

2007 © Ted Sheridan


Comments about Katie Couric Has Just Been Charged In The Murder Of Cbs Evening World News by Ted Sheridan

  • (3/19/2007 11:16:00 AM)

    Got a point there. I've toyed with the idea of tossing my TV out the window, but afraid I might get arrested for littering. I've decided the way to deal with the lunacy of contemporary media is to use it for nothing but sedation. There's nothing like a good dose of The Munsters or Laverne and Shirley to counter all the bad news. Simply go to your Parental Controls and block CNN and all other channels that offer news programs. Also zap out American Idol and all other depressing offerings that remotely remind us of 'reality.' Funny and entertaining (as well as nicely written) poem. (Report)Reply

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  • (3/19/2007 10:57:00 AM)

    Laughing so hard that I feel sick - thank you, looove that feeling! You guys have all the fun: beards, mustaches, comb overs... Great tongue-in-cheek? observations, Ted! Esther : ] P.S. This is about as mean as I get, plenty mean, I think: but doesn't K.C. look like a Jack O' Lantress? (Report)Reply

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Poem Submitted: Monday, March 19, 2007

Poem Edited: Friday, February 4, 2011


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