***mommy, Don'T Leave Me Just Yet! *** Poem by mimzy sue
***mommy, Don'T Leave Me Just Yet! ***
She was young, beautiful and happy
She was her daddy's pride
She, a good daughter
And her daddy finds for her a husband
She was a good wife
A good mother
But He left her....
She wonders why? ? , but never got her answer.
There, with her Hungry Kids
All alone
Having no roofed upon her head
And no place to go..
She wanders
Tired and weary
Everybody hushed and felt sorry for her
But no one Helped her! !
But She was a survivor
She was so naive and vulnerable
Yet so strong and fought the world
For her kids to fit in
She often lied about her watery eyes
Something entered into hers eyes,
But secretly I know
Those were tears
Sacrificed her life
Gave her all for her kids
But never complained
And never asked for anything, anything..........! ! !
But Will she survived this
horrible, dreadful disease
I'm so scared she would'nt
Who is strong enough, anyway? ?
I wished that I could fight for her
Could give her something she wants...
Time, oh! time we all need.....
I wished that time never exists.
She linger on,
But I know this waiting will end someday
It can't lasts forever...
But mommy don't leave me just yet.....! !
Very touching poem. Emotionally written. Make me feel sad too. Mother's love is the greatest love on earth.
there is feeling in this poem that can't be ignored I like it
Sad poem written with a passion of tears. ' I wished that time never exists ' What a heavenly wish....But we all have to face tyranny of time. Mother's love is all!
oh very sad and touching poem.. you did a beautiful job on writting such a passionate, touching poem on the bitter truth of life....thanks for sharing 10 keep smiling rgds asif
i must say this poem is very deep written very good job keep up the good work btw check out my new poems plz and thank you
This poem comes from somewhere very deep. It is an honest, passionate and very moving plea from a daughter to her ailing mother. The reader feels your pain and joins you in your words of supplication - 'Mommy, Don't leave me just yet' loe, Allie ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
This poem has a nice title, but many of the lines are much too obvious. You are using imagery in your poetry, but it is weak because it isn't using imagery through FIGURATIVE LANGUAGE. Figurative language is the meat of a poem, it is what keeps the reader's eyes on the path of the next lines. The poem about the struggling mother is a subject that has been overdone very much. You want your poem to stand out more. Use metaphors, similes, sounds, anything. Everyone knows 'watery eyes' means 'tears'. Try something spicy like 'dewed lashes' or something else. I cannot connect to this poem because it's structure is too rigid, too predictable. Add surprises to it. Play with the lines. Be bold, don't be afraid. Don't get into the habit of creating obvious cookie cutter poems. This kills the art.
The heart-pull of poignance is finely displayed, here...Structurally smooth write, through your employment of tight, crisp linage....(3rd stanza...''roofed should be ''roof''') Otherwise...Solid Work, young lady. *F j R*
that poem was very touchy i like it a lot keep up the good work
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
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5/6/2024 11:37:11 PM # 1.0.0.1119
Sad poem written with compassion-these things will make you feel you depressed