My 1st Attempt At Abstract Poem by s.zaynab kamoonpury
My 1st Attempt At Abstract
Abstract no.1: On Dating
Why has the mining process
become more enjoyable and valuable than the gemstone itself, when rationally speaking it should be vice-versa?
Why do people romanticize and dramatize the finding process
and the goal itself remains drastically undermined,
presented as the end of the movie or end of the fun in real life.
Such that in a fool's paradise miners seem far happier and mining more interesting
than the ones who come to possess the gem that the spouse is.
No wonder a placebo effect of satisfaction is felt and desired by peer pressurized youth.
Abstract no.2 COMPARISM
Mermaid moving, glistening in leathery rough copper skin
basking carefreely under the giant ember sun
as opposed to sun-screened, sunbathing, brassy smooth skin
fearful and in real danger of ultra-violet rays
and infra-red bullets of carcinogen's gun!
Abstract no.3 Vicious Circle
Entrapped as a few are in those vicious circles
with vague or nil dreams of a knight in shining armour
No gallant chivalry fascinates or liberates them from such tentacles
They simply, passively let the vulture selfishly devour.
(this particular one is inspired by a recent article and poems I read here n on other sites)
Yet if this to you is abstract piece of cake
Who would admit if he did a double take? *wink*
Who knows, maybe your mind you actually had to rake? ; -)
Ah, here though a dab of mystery I do smear
Before intellectuals any coat of paint might wear.
There is always greater thrill in expecting than in realizing! Youngsters enjoy seeking after the best than getting eternally tied by a knot! As for the second one, mermaids with their leathery rough skin needn't worry about the penetrating ultra violet rays! Again those in the vicious circle donot want to come out, they prefer to be tied by the tentacles ever! These abstract trilogy, I really enjoyed, especially the one on dating! Also your conclusion!
#1 is beautiful, I love how you wrote. It does seem that way doesn't it. Good job
Mermaid moving, glistening in leathery rough copper skin, very nice description with passionate thrill. Nice job.
the ones who come to possess the gem that the spouse is. No wonder a placebo effect of satisfaction is felt.getting more and more deep into psyche and trying to describing the passion, the way and the attainment.......... thank u dear poetess. tony
Aloha S. z Kamoonpuri... I was a bit hasty this am... I jumped in to your thoughts and did not look clearly enough at those thoughts... Pardon me my Dear Friend... I am familar with most every abstract... whatever this may imply, and these first attempts are very good... woven explicitly, in intrigue and guile... gristle in the stew to one who chews upon the sweetest of flesh as a raptor would devour its meal... an analogy of digging in the earth to that exquisite babble produced from doing so... an Alpha to an Omega... moment? and rough copper to smooth... a petite heel or that petite meal? or in the third; a forelorn female frustrated by fate... finally submits to whatever there is to be? Smear me please! With words that work as these works of words work wonderfully to the point... and that is the point in an abstract... what is the point within... you win my 10... many knights over and over again and again... are my inspirations ever clearer? Thank you for your good works and for your efforts to increase the ability of the craft within your essence... All of the best from this life, to you, and all of your relations... Michaelw1two
You're right about the reversal of values when the pursuit of precious metals becomes more important than their purpose which is celebrate the bond of love. This is the conquistador effect - the mercenaries who came to the New World and subdued the native popu; ation and stole their gold as an end in itself. Your second poem about the sunbathers is a well timed warning but do you think our moder day mernaids will heed you?
Your English woven together very well in this little abstract poem superb lines and a nice feeling poem to read...regards
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
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4/16/2024 3:59:40 AM # 1.0.0.1119
A really cool mix of abstract works, I really like the stream of consciousness of this, you let your soul tell the tales and they come out looking cool. I especially love Abstract 3 Vicious circle, not the romantic I take it, seems you have a very slippery view of the subject, all in all this was a great trinity of abstraction. Well done