Mystery Of The Ghost In The Attic Poem by Spock the Vegan

I went to bed - It was a peaceful night.
Until I was awakened to a horrific sight.
The attic door was opened wide,
South of my room, thrust aside.

Through the attic doorway stood
The persona of a ghost, understood.
This evil looking thing was very bright.
Into my room it did cast its light.

What it was I could not tell,
An evil creature here from Hell?
I wondered when I had come upstairs
Had I forgotten to say my prayers?
Was the evil thing going to come into my room?
Was it time to receive impending doom?

I clenched my teeth, my muscles tight,
I went under the covers, out of sight.
I began to quiver, my breathing slight.
The ghost had appeared before midnight.

I dared not move, I dared not shake,
Else the evil thing my soul would take.
It seemed like hours that I lay awake.
Finally I realized that I was still alive.
I think that the time was about 1: 05.
So a second look I decided to take.

The doorway was between us,
It hadn't come through.
But it seemed to be several inches
Closer to the flue.

It did not look like the spirit of a man,
More like a brilliantly lighted snowman.
It had an oval body and a smaller oval head.
Contradicting descriptions of spirits I had read.

It was a mystery. That was for sure.
When I drifted off to sleep it was about four.

Up at dawn to do the chores,
the sun was hot.
The ghost of the night before
had been forgot.

Nighttime came, I went to the upper floor,
And I also forgot to close the attic door.
I went to bed and soon began to snore.
About 11: 50 the ghost shined past the attic door.

So again I was awakened to an evil frightful sight,
That came to me while I was sleeping in the night.
It had come later than the night before.
Had it come to settle a prior sinful score?

Again my heart pace quickened from the scary sight,
In order to get it out of mind, I rolled over to the right.
As I went to sleep I started to make a plan:
How to solve the mystery, to prove I was a man.

The third night when I went to bed I had to decide
Whether to close the door or leave it open wide.
The mystery must be solved, that was my envision.
So leaving the door open was the best decision.

The ghost came again, but not ‘til a quarter to one.
A pattern had developed, but for theories I had none.
The only thing left to do was investigate,
So I tiptoed out of bed and became the bait.

As I tiptoed, much to my dismay,
The cowardly ghost had run away.
I could see his glow coming from the attic,
So I pursued him most emphatic.

I surged into the attic
to find the beast.
I saw the full moon shining
through the window on the east.

At last a theory was forming in my brain.
I went back to bed and the ghost was back again!
In the attic two plates of glass had been pulled away
From the spot where they were intended to stay.

Now from gravity, the plates had a small bend,
Causing the reflected moonlight to subtend.
The round moonlight was reflected as an oval.
Two of those making an image that was woeful.

So now the theory had been solved.
While around the earth the moon revolved.