poet Herbert Nehrlich

Herbert Nehrlich

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Oleomargarine

Napoleon did start the fad
it was because he never had
enough to spend for soldier food
to keep them in the proper mood.
He asked his chemists to invent
an out for his predicament.

The French eat butter and thick cream
drink wine, although this fact may seem
to dummies that are reading this
the antidote to human bliss.

So, warriors who must risk their lives
while worrying about young wives
they want to eat the real thing
the same as any Gallic king.

The chemists soon produced some gunk
which tasted bad, it also stunk
they called it oleomargarine
and served it in a small terrine.

Of course they had deodorised
and filtered and then sanitised
had added flavouring and dye
it looked delicious to the eye.

The cost was 10 percent of butter
one did not need a cookie-cutter
to get it and it simply spread
plus no one suffered or dropped dead.

And since that time the world imbibed
as if they had been somehow bribed
a poison full of nasty fats
which would not interest the cats.

It causes lots of hypertension
but I refrain from further mention
of other illnesses and death
I would be wasting precious breath.

Mankind is listening to devils
who wait for you on many levels
they have, the same as we, two paws
though theirs have nasty-looking claws.

They take the money from your pockets
and steal your health, then wear your lockets.
Please stop and think about the past
and how a healthy life can last.

It isn't really very hard
to grab the butter and the lard
eat eggs each day and heavy cream
that's how you'll realise your dream.

And yes do take a healthy shot
of life-prolonging coconut.

Poem Submitted: Friday, November 18, 2005

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Comments about Oleomargarine by Herbert Nehrlich

  • Herbert Nehrlich1 (11/18/2005 4:58:00 PM)

    Send me your e-mail adresses and I will send you the facts in a small report. ONLY butter is acceptable.
    Best
    H

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  • Ernestine NorthoverErnestine Northover (11/18/2005 1:16:00 PM)

    Are you buttering us up Herbert? All I can say is I have spread made with Olive Oil which is supposed to be healthy - but reading this who knows! ! ! ! ! ! ! Love Ernestine. Great poem, by the way!

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  • Raynette Eitel (11/18/2005 11:38:00 AM)

    Ok, all you Aussies take note...I'd rather have oleo than vegemite. I think you have to acquire a taste for that stuff. :) But butter is my main thing...and I hope it won't do me in.

    Raynette

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  • Mary Nagy (11/18/2005 9:49:00 AM)

    You know what..........I was getting groceries yesterday and I stood there for probably five minutes in front of the butter...struggling with myself. All I could hear was you Herbert, telling me to read the labels....I read the labels and of course the natural butter was way healthier as far as added ingredients. (I hate to admit it though, my finances still won out and I bought the 99cent tub of 3 lbs instead of the 1lb for $3. (But, if it makes you feel better, I felt like an awful mother buying the cheap stuff!)

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  • Herbert Nehrlich1 (11/18/2005 8:11:00 AM)

    You ought to bake with lard. Eat a high fat diet, making most fats saturated and you will gain tremendously in health.
    H

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  • Cj HeckCj Heck (11/18/2005 8:07:00 AM)

    Excellent, Herbert.
    Hugs to you,
    CJ

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  • Mahnaz Zardoust-Ahari (11/18/2005 8:06:00 AM)

    I never cared for lard, but I do eat eggs and butter....nicely written :)

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  • Rev. Dr. A. Jacob Hassler (11/18/2005 7:58:00 AM)

    my Nanna used to talk about Oleo, or 'Oh-Lee' as she called it. never talked about it in a good way. she also talked alot about Vegemite. i owe my affection for that spread to her...

    Jake

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3 total ratings
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