Souren Mondal

Gold Star - 31,504 Points (10th November 1991 / Chandannagar)

On Reading Daniel Brick's 'who Said This? ': The Storyteller Lost At His Story - Poem by Souren Mondal

We are listening to Mozart, my friends
at this time and age,
when we have all grown too old to be stirred
we only can take peace
in the simple moments of our lives
and look back at such days when we were younger -

I remember when I,
a man with more grey yet some black
salt-and-peppery all around
decided enough was enough and
Chose this - this life - this life of freedom and tender thinking
Softly formed like a dew-drop upon a blade of grass

And I left my madness -
The useless chases after women,
the drinks at one o'clock in the night
until the bartender said those ancient words -


And I took no notice,
didn't know when the time came and went

I stayed disillusioned like I had become

When she left me -
deserted me on our prom night to go with the Football Captain.

We were supposed to be together


till death do us part

We had dreamt dreams of a life of peace
when we made love for the first time
at the backseat of my second hand truck
on a lonely winter's night
High up at the lone mountains' track

And the kisses were like the first one
at the Park when we held our hands together for too long
and I stared too deep into her eyes....

They were as blue as the azure sky of the playground
when we first met on the fourth day of the school

And I helped her to play with the swings

As her first words came into my ears -

'Hi, I need some help'.

Souren Mondal
January 25,2016

Topic(s) of this poem: love, nostalgia

Form: Dramatic Monologue

Poet's Notes about The Poem

I wrote this, as the title suggests, as a reaction to Daniel Brick's poem. I urge you to read his poem too if you come across this.

P: S: I am not very sure if I can actually place this as a 'dramatic monologue' since this is written in free verse, still I did it. If you could enlighten me about it, and think that I may be wrong please do tell me.

Thank you

Comments about On Reading Daniel Brick's 'who Said This? ': The Storyteller Lost At His Story by Souren Mondal

  • Pamela Sinicrope (1/25/2016 3:50:00 PM)

    I have read both poems now! I can see how you might have been inspired by Daniel's poem, but both definitely stand alone and contain your unique poetic voices. I love how our poems inspire each other...Have you ever read the book, How to Steal Like an Artist? Its a fun little read. Nothing deep, but it rings true. This is a well done monologue. I enjoyed reading it and like the play on words and memory. (Report) Reply

    Souren Mondal (1/25/2016 9:31:00 PM)

    Thank you very much Pam. It is indeed wonderful, when we exchange ideas among ourselves..

    I have heard of Kleon's book, but not read it. I would love to read it one day :)

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  • Abhilasha Bhatt (1/25/2016 1:31:00 AM)

    I never read Daniel's poem....but if it is like this as you have narrated then I will definitely read Daniel's poem......A well narrated dramatic monologue.....thank you for sharing :) (Report) Reply

    Souren Mondal (1/25/2016 9:34:00 PM)

    Thank you for reading Abhilasha..

    Daniel's poem is however, a little different. He informed me yesterday that it was actually three fragments of different poems that he attempted to write, but did not finish. What I did here was actually to fill in between the lines to create a somewhat different narrative that his work suggested.. I guess that way, we finished each others' work :)

  • Kelly Kurt (1/25/2016 1:07:00 AM)

    A wonderfully written piece. Many can relate to the emotions and events presented. I have read Daniels poem andi hope he reads yours as well. Marvelous! (Report) Reply

    Souren Mondal (1/25/2016 9:36:00 PM)

    Thank you very much Kelly. Daniel's work have always ignited a passion in me, and this poem is a homage to him.. One of the most incredible writers here :)

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Poem Submitted: Sunday, January 24, 2016

Poem Edited: Monday, January 25, 2016

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