Puzzled Poem by Nashy Lamen

Consumed by emotions
temporarily occupied by unspoken words,
waiting on vivid dreams,
hoping on fiction, devoured by illusions.

Blankness invaded the open space
of my pityful mind,
longing for clear thoughts,
full of answers.

But none prevailed to soothe
the confusion so insoluble,
clinging on to hope,
as my shattered thoughts flicker.

No cure for such unignorable desire
to tear a heart where in
a disoriented mind longs to
forsake denial of the truth.

Desire to mask its true feelings
as long as possible,
to keep it stored in trusted minds
of the alter ego.

The need to resist the temptation,
to never tell what my heart has to offer,
to wait until all courage gathered,
and confidence is at maximum level.

Until the time comes
when all issues settled,
and all questions answered,
then I'd move.

The necessity to actually execute
a flawless move,
the perfect plan to satisfy
not only the mind but the heart as well.

But for now, to keep it hidden
though pulse rate accelerates
to the view of him just around there
voice heard sweet and soft.

Though it trickles every fingertip
and endlessly keeps the heart jumping
I shall calm and control it,
and burn the secrecy in rusted dreams.

Though perplexity swallows me,
and I watch my chances pass by,
waking up and trying to speak,
feeling compunction so useless yet bitter.

Compunction so heavy,
that it destroys every bit of your worthless soul,
Drowning in stupidity,
Captivated in a circle full of regrets.

The sense here is that
I must keep it hidden,
for the feeling of disappointment
is one thing I must avoid.

And the fact that I'm avoiding regrets
and being too late.
I stand here baffled.
trying to confess.

but

Satisfaction is beyond my reach,
So I'd keep masking,
hiding.

Until satistfied,
I'd then confess.