Sandra Martyres

Rookie - 24 Points (5th October / Mumbai - India)

Sailor Man (Senryu) - Poem by Sandra Martyres

Goodbye sailor man
Our short lived friendship ended
When you jumped ship

Comments about Sailor Man (Senryu) by Sandra Martyres

  • premji premji (7/17/2009 12:52:00 AM)

    this is marvellous! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! 1
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  • (7/16/2009 6:55:00 AM)

    an excellent senryu sandra ma'm.....very witty...10 (Report) Reply

  • Smiley Hooker (7/15/2009 7:58:00 AM)

    Short, simple but very remarkable piece. very well done! : -) (Report) Reply

  • (7/13/2009 9:24:00 AM)

    truth and sarcasm both there...expressive senryu...thanks...10 (Report) Reply

  • (7/12/2009 12:40:00 AM)

    well i had no idea, one can narrate a moving, beautiful story through three lines..
    this is an exceptional write indeed! ! !
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  • (7/11/2009 2:22:00 PM)

    Your poetic ability to express deep ideas in short words amazes me every time, dear Sandra. Thanks very much for sharing and best wishes to you.
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  • (7/11/2009 12:27:00 AM)

    a strong metaphor... (Report) Reply

  • (7/6/2009 6:09:00 AM)

    owwwwsss...first, i want to say that this is so nice..well presented in a form of senryu....naizz (Report) Reply

  • (7/5/2009 8:27:00 AM)

    This is a wonderfully written senryu, Sandra, a very expressive one. I think it might be a little better if you switched the second and third lines and dropped the word 'it, ' like this: 'Goodby sailor man/ Our short lived friendship/ ended when you jumped ship! ' That way, you saved the best and most impactful line for last!
    (Report) Reply

  • (7/5/2009 8:12:00 AM)

    And all nice girls love a sailor. My first love was studying to be an officer in the Navy and it was the uniform that did it for me! Clever work Sandra. 10 Karin Anderson (Report) Reply

  • Fay Slimm (7/5/2009 5:52:00 AM)

    Brilliant senyru says so so much between those short lines.....10 from Fay (Report) Reply

  • (7/5/2009 12:21:00 AM)

    A nice written senryu, sandra! (Report) Reply

  • (7/4/2009 11:31:00 PM)

    story in a senryu... fine write. (Report) Reply

  • (7/4/2009 11:11:00 PM)

    a small story told in three lines...lovely (Report) Reply

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Poem Submitted: Saturday, July 4, 2009

Poem Edited: Monday, July 20, 2009

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