I know of a beautiful, dark-haired girl.
I have never touched her hand,
But I have swooned at the thought.
We haven’t walked the lonely autumn streets
I love the best, the streets of poor children
Who smile through the gloom
As the leaves rustle down the broken concrete.
This lovely one has not yet fallen in love with poets
And the magical vision of poetry,
But she is on the verge; sadness is in her soul,
She has known childhood heartbreak,
The fragility of the inner-child,
And she is growing everyday into her goddess.
One day, she will see the beauty of a drunken poet
Who doesn’t want to hurt anyone,
The mysticism of a passionate heart,
The conviction of human dignity,
And the voice of one crying in the wilderness,
And then she will understand the one she doubts,
The one she criticizes, she will understand the voice of truth.
'The mysticism of a passionate heart'........ Tell it, friend. Esther : ]
great poem Uriah...the beauty of a drunken, depressed, angry, abused, ...poet...it is all good.........Vallerie
Yikes! This poem is permeated with abstractions. Try to make your images more concrete by invoking direct, absolute feelings from the speaker. For example, 'The mysticism of a passionate heart'. The reader is uncertain what this means, because it lacks immediate emotion. Here are more examples: ' magical vision of poetry, ' 'growing everyday into her goddess, ' 'conviction of human dignity, ' 'understand the voice of truth'. Solidify what these mean. Hey, but please don't be offended-helpful criticism will make ya stronger. Take care! ~Fil
Beautifully expressed sentiments, Uriah. I like it even if I think it's just an eensy teensy bit...wimpy. (Please don't throw a chair at me! I said I liked it! Ouch! What did you do that for?)
Sadness in her soul? That isnt a prerequisite for love, Uriah! The right one will come along sooner or later. God bless. Raynette
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
SAD, BUT HOPEFUL SITUATION....ALLS POSSIBLE WHEN ONE PASSIONS FOR SOMETHING OR SOMEONE HARD ENOUGH.....TIME TELLS ALL.... GREAT PIECE, U.H.....Glad to see ya on site...haven't seen you last few days '''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''FJR