abhilasha bhatt

Slowly Slowly.... - Poem by abhilasha bhatt

Slowly slowly
Life is going
Time is passing
Days are leaving
Nights are passing
Moments are passing
Memories are staining
Everything going
Everyone is betraying
I am losing myself
I became alone
The poison is working
My dearer will forget me
No one will come on my dark grave
And I will be disappeared fully
Nothing remains for always nd get changed always
But I will come in ur memories
I will come like a blossom in the air…..

Topic(s) of this poem: life

Comments about Slowly Slowly.... by abhilasha bhatt

  • Mithilesh Yadav (12/23/2016 1:11:00 PM)

    Nice poem..
    Thanks for sharing
    (Report) Reply

    0 person liked.
    0 person did not like.
  • Akhtar Jawad (11/25/2016 3:38:00 AM)

    The poem is a sigh on life gradually travelling to death and it touches the hearts. (Report) Reply

  • Souren Mondal (3/2/2016 8:50:00 AM)

    You know Abhilasha, there are too many things wrong with this poem, so I would not go deep into it, instead I will leave you with this -


    Life, Time , Days and Nights
    are passing ever so slowly

    Moments are passing like a tortoise
    Memories are stainining,
    A few of them are remaining

    Friends, foes, family

    I am losing everyone

    I stand here,
    with a snake of lonliness
    Poisoning my veins
    like arsenic,
    slow, painful

    My dear ones will forget me
    No one will come on my dark grave with a flower

    And my name will be erased
    Nothing remains forever
    Doesn't matter how gradual,
    Change is inevitable...

    And yet,
    when all will be gone
    I will come in your memories
    In you dreams I will like
    leaving a fragnance behind like a rose does
    when it

    falls from the tree'

    Give it a read, and then read your initial writing.. I am sure you will get it.. Like Valsa ma'am, and Roseann said, I too feel similarly about the poem..

    Just give the 'edited' version a read: -)
    (Report) Reply

    Souren Mondal (3/2/2016 8:53:00 AM)

    *in your dreams I will WALK not 'like'... Sorry: -(

  • Edward Kofi Louis (2/25/2016 1:54:00 AM)

    Blossom! With lessons and memories. Nice piece of work. (Report) Reply

  • Mohammed Asim Nehal (2/17/2016 2:42:00 PM)

    But we are liking your poems not slowly slowly but at brisk pace...Fastly Fastly.................Awesome...10+++ (Report) Reply

  • Valsa George (2/16/2016 9:21:00 AM)

    We live and die slowly, pass into oblivion slowly, but re-emerge in others' memory slowly like a blossom! Though we complain that time flies, everything happens slowly!

    If you could avoid repetition, the poem would have greater effect! Unfortunately, I don't know Hindi to enjoy your Hindi poems in which you would be a master!
    (Report) Reply

    Abhilasha Bhatt (2/16/2016 9:34:00 AM)

    The title of the poem is slowly slowly......that's why I used slowly repeatedly......nd its sad being an indian you don't know our national language.....anyway...thank you for giving your precious time to my poem and for commenting :)

  • (2/1/2016 7:11:00 PM)

    Very good ideas, presented well. Repetition of the word, slowly bogs down the essence of the poem, possibly you can consolidate everything else, i.e. Life and time are passing, days and nights are filled with moments that seem to last forever, never moving forward.... Maybe something like that to give your poem more substance and less distraction. Instead of using the word slowly, substitute other words meaning slowly. Otherwise your thoughts and ideas themselves are really great! Thank you for sharing. RoseAnn (Report) Reply

    Abhilasha Bhatt (2/16/2016 9:35:00 AM)

    Slowly slowly is its title that's why I used it repeatedly.....thank you for commenting... :)

  • Ernest Makuakua (1/6/2016 9:12:00 AM)

    yes truth be told all things happen slowly yet we think time flies when we have same time and things go on slowly slowly
    thank you for sharing
    (Report) Reply

  • Shakil Ahmed (12/1/2015 9:08:00 AM)

    yes, everything is going and happening slowly and slowly, nice poem, thanks for sharing (Report) Reply

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Poem Submitted: Tuesday, December 1, 2015

Poem Edited: Wednesday, March 2, 2016

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