Snake, Lawyer, Stick …… [divorce; Courtroom Humor? ; Not Personal; Short-Medium] Poem by Bri Edwards

I tried marriage once, but to it I did not “take”.
It was like struggling with a huge python snake!
So I got lawyer, “Rick”, a partner in Rikki, Tikki, Tavi ….,
[LLP].
Rick said that, with “snake”-cases, he was VERY savvy.

Yeah, living with the “snake” nearly stole my breath.
She kept tightening her hold on me …. almost to death.
But as the case developed, some problems arose,
which kept my lawyer Rick ….. on his tippy-toes.

Then, near the end, lawyer Rick nearly …. did fail ME.
[It might have been a better fate than to …. pay his fee! ]

We went to court and there sat TV’s “Judge Judy”! !
Rick trembled at the sight, but he fulfilled his duty ….
to me.
The “snake’s” lawyer lied and presented a false witness. NO, two! !
I got nervous, really nervous. What was I to do?

But the snake got nervous too ….., and screwed up her case,
for this is what (believe it OR not) [in the court] took place:

The “snake” slithered straight at me, wrapping ‘round her coils.
NOT only was she strangling me, but also emitting foul oils.
But, as I said, Rick was savvy with “snake”-cases.
What happened next brought shock to the jurors’ faces.

The Snake squeezed me; she squeezed like “heck”.
But Rick jumped up and grabbed the Snake by her neck.
She was much bigger than snakes tackled before by Rick,
but she released her coils from me, and I grabbed a great BIG stick.

As Judge Judy and all the jurors (except one: a “snake”) ….
applauded, I beat the snake. I beat the snake for goodness sake.

Together, Rick and I triumphed over “snake-evil” that day,
but ever since that trial, I RUN ….. when a “snake” comes my way.



(June 15, 2015)