Terry jones

So Cold(Dedicated To A Friend I Upset This Is Whut I Think After Ive Done That)

explain to me why I'm still alive
after all I've done i think its time to die
I've caused agony and misery
my life is pointless cant you see
I'm so cold keep your hand in mine
I'm so cold keep your fear in mine
all I want to do is lye down and die
just let this torture called life end
lying here I deserve to die
just shows you how useless I really am huh
I'm so cold
oh so cold

Poem Submitted: Thursday, January 15, 2009
Poem Edited: Monday, February 9, 2009

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Comments about So Cold(Dedicated To A Friend I Upset This Is Whut I Think After Ive Done That) by Terry jones

  • David GerardinoDavid Gerardino (1/7/2012 12:41:00 PM)

    had to read 2 times, very good.

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  • *Innocent Angel* (1/28/2009 3:44:00 PM)

    Great poem, sad feeling. I think you should do a spell check when you write you poems but overall its a really good and sad. I am just wondering have you shown your friend yet?

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  • Tyease CollinsTyease Collins (1/28/2009 3:35:00 PM)

    Sad yes it is. Um a note is that you need to kind of work on your spelling. It makes the poem better to have good spelling. Really nice poem though. I wonder if you showed this poem to your friend yet....

    10/10

    -Tyease

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  • Racheal (1/22/2009 4:57:00 PM)

    i LOVE it! ! !

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  • Eli Cortez (1/20/2009 8:11:00 AM)

    This is a good poem but you are missing key elements and simple basics, just from reading it the first time is very weak, but it has a good chance of growing...first of all spelling, this is a very strong poem because of the word use, if you don't spell the words correctly then the words lose the meaning and strength and becomes weak. second is punctuation, in the first line you ask a question, the first line is the most important and by asking a question you invite the reader in, you invite them, but if you don't put a question mark then it confuses the reader and instead of paying attention to the words and the sentences they look for other errors and the poem loses more strength. this is a good poem but it is very weak...this poem needs a lot of work. the words are powerful coming from such a young person but don't let your age hold you back, I see lots of potential and I know that you will be a good poet one day, you are better than i was at your age. also please don't take my comments to the heart i don't mean to be rude or offend, I want you to learn and grow from what i have to say, you are very talented and have much to learn. I will be keeping my eye on you and am looking forward to more of your poetry, keep on writing and don't be afraid to write the truth or explore.

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  • <3 KeesKees (1/19/2009 4:38:00 PM)

    nice well written <3 meaningful... keep it up

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  • Saphire Marshall (1/17/2009 9:14:00 AM)

    wow, that's really all I can say, it's a really good poem. A ten out of ten from me! ! !

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  • I Am Who I Am (1/16/2009 4:59:00 PM)

    Great Poem! ! ! !
    Definitely a 10 out of 10! ! !

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  • Sulaiman Mohd YusofSulaiman Mohd Yusof (1/16/2009 4:58:00 PM)

    An outburst of explosive feeling of extreme frustation written in a nice possible way.

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  • Amy (1/16/2009 4:37:00 PM)

    i liked it, however a sad message.
    i'm sorry you feel this way

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  • Silence Dogood (1/16/2009 4:26:00 PM)

    Its good at the beggining but loses it a bit at the end.
    The lines were good but I didnt like the way you spelt
    At points it made it difficult to read.

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  • Greenwolfe 1962 (1/16/2009 4:20:00 PM)

    The sincerety of the expression just overwhelms the poem. That is a good thing.
    You can't fake it. Congratulations! I liked it a lot.

    GW62

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  • Chocolate Bunny (1/16/2009 3:09:00 PM)

    awesome poem. It seems sad. But very well written.

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  • Leslie Alexis (heaven Is My Home) (1/16/2009 3:09:00 PM)

    hey my friend. this is a sad piece eh. but whatever happens in this life is just a test. dyign is not the answer. for life is a gift.. You write good poetry.. keep it up.. Live, love, forgive, forget and nevr regret anything..
    Its all a test

    Bless

    Leslie

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  • Wandering ScarletWandering Scarlet (1/16/2009 3:08:00 PM)

    i think u really need to work on spelling and grammar
    also i think that this something u did must have been very scarring for you considering your feelings, although i insist that dying is not worth it, theres lots to life u dont even know about, its just a matter of looking for them and enjoying them....

    lots of hope
    ROCCO

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  • ~Crazy Ann~ (1/16/2009 2:49:00 PM)

    my heart is filled with your pain and forgiveness is the key to end your suffering friends are part of our salvation so apologize, and step out into the warmth.

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  • A Poet Who Loves To Sing Alves (1/16/2009 2:35:00 PM)

    Sorry Dante, I did not complete the little poem with the last line....

    Forgiving hearts
    Forgiving find
    To them the Christ
    Is ever kind....

    and I say again, forgive yourself....

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  • Bonnie Collins (1/16/2009 2:33:00 PM)

    This is filled with much sadness, and depression..... I do hope this is not a true story, or perhaps through someone you knew/know... It is written from a heavy heart, remember in life, no matter how much desitute we face, there is never any gift greater than life, and anything that you feel is wrong with your life, can be repaired..... Very touching write.

    Bonnie

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  • A Poet Who Loves To Sing Alves (1/16/2009 2:33:00 PM)

    Dante,

    Your poem is filled with passion and your plea for forgiveness I am sure is filled with truth. Please put aside your wish for death, this can only add to the trauma already inflicted on your friend...

    I was told once, 'Forgiving hearts
    Forgiving find
    To them the Christ

    I was told this as a child, younger than you are now, but I never forgot it. Learn to forgive yourself.
    Is ever kind....

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  • B3@utiful Dis@st3r (1/16/2009 2:16:00 PM)

    great poem you can tell its really from your heart and you feel really bad for what you did

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