Abhinav Baruah

Rookie - 29 Points (January 31 / Jorhat)

Tea Plucking Girl - Poem by Abhinav Baruah

While morning sunbeam
Evaporated my dreams
Journey through green
Tea gardens and serene scene
A cup of green tea should be a rejoinder
Romantic morning reminder
I kissed fervently hot
Little tea plucking girl with her sun burnt face
Appeared in window sill
Looking at my steam struck eyes
“Dear poet
Wish you were not kissing on my blood and sweat”


(Copyright reserved by the author)


Comments about Tea Plucking Girl by Abhinav Baruah

  • (4/15/2010 6:38:00 PM)

    I shudder with the thought of kissing a tea plucking girl at my age. She would certainly give a country boy like me chicken skin..10 to you Ab. (Report)Reply

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  • (4/15/2010 2:52:00 AM)

    well expressed feelings of love...Thanks for sharing (Report)Reply

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  • (4/12/2010 12:45:00 AM)

    is this about helplessness or pleasure? or simply about life in its ironic and sarcastic form which whether happy or sad ends in an undefined balance. (Report)Reply

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  • Sujit Sinha (4/10/2010 12:00:00 PM)

    I believe we should bring back rhyming in poetry. Good attempt at that.
    Well conceived poem. Good.
    (Report)Reply

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  • Rajaram Ramachandran (4/9/2010 7:26:00 PM)

    It is the irony of fate that one should labour for the pleasure of another one. But one should learn to respect the labourer. (Report)Reply

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  • Mark Nwagwu (4/9/2010 3:26:00 PM)

    Little tea plucking girl with her sun burnt face
    Appeared in window sill
    Looking at my steam struck eyes
    “Dear poet
    Wish you were not kissing on my blood and sweat”

    this is so so sweet - tea plucking girl with her sunburnt face, and you somewhere else find so much joy in her work, her blood and sweat - and that finds meaning in the kiss - fantastic. This gets my 10, and more, i'll read it many many times
    (Report)Reply

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  • (4/9/2010 12:03:00 PM)

    very nice lighthearted poem (Report)Reply

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  • (4/9/2010 7:56:00 AM)

    Very intense verse, with careful words and it pulls me into the main point quickly. Well done, I enjoyed it very much.

    thanks for sharing
    Michael
    (Report)Reply

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  • (4/8/2010 2:37:00 AM)

    A very cute sweet little poem (Report)Reply

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  • D.J. Ray (4/7/2010 3:45:00 PM)

    nice poem in genril though i like the middle the best (Report)Reply

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  • (4/7/2010 10:14:00 AM)

    thank you for sharing, its a good description of Tea plantation and the toils. (Report)Reply

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  • (4/7/2010 9:17:00 AM)

    I liked the lines:

    Tea gardens and serene scene.

    And:

    'Dear poet,
    Wish you were notkissin on my blood and sweat.'

    I really enjoyed reading this poem. It reminds me one of those Japanese Geisha Gardens while they're drinking tea and feed the fishies. So peaceful. It makes you dream. I'm gonna add this poem on MyFavoritePoemList.
    Keep penning.


    B.B.
    (Report)Reply

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  • (4/7/2010 6:21:00 AM)

    Dear poet, this is wonderful poem i like the mood, the timing, the words and the spirit of your romantic deep feelings
    big ten from me 10+++++++++
    (Report)Reply

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  • Lathaprem Sakhya (4/7/2010 3:32:00 AM)

    Dear Poet
    Picturesque in its conception yet an ambiguity that nags one.Thats what makes it great.Thank you for inviting me to read your poems dear poet.
    (Report)Reply

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  • (4/6/2010 2:49:00 PM)

    Nice piece. Painted well. (Report)Reply

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  • (4/6/2010 3:06:00 AM)

    that's the way life goes... (Report)Reply

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  • Rajkumar Mukherjee (4/5/2010 12:54:00 PM)

    Dear ABHINAV,
    Thanks for your invite to read and comment on your poem.
    Basically I liked its theme and the presentation.Only one point I want to make, in case you are writing a rhyming poem try to maintain the meter count.to maintain the flow of the poem
    In case of free verse it is not so compulsory. I'll also suggest use of some metaphors to increase the strength of your message.
    An example for your poem: -'tea-leaves grow under the motherly shadow of rain-tree.'Even the child -labour grows with them (though under compulsion)
    I' m writing this since due to work, I spent a complete weekend in one Upper Assam tea garden.The girl is not supposed to know you are a poet, so why not use a common word to increase the appeal.
    This is my suggestion. Take it or toss it.Rated at 9
    Rajkumar
    (Report)Reply

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  • (4/5/2010 8:07:00 AM)

    a heart-touching write on such a important issue...very empathetic in tone (Report)Reply

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  • Sadiqullah Khan (4/5/2010 7:32:00 AM)

    This is superb for taking the reader to a tea farm, small event, much feelings. Well done.10 (Report)Reply

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  • Dr.subhendu Kar (4/4/2010 4:17:00 PM)

    “Dear poet
    Wish you were not kissing on my blood and sweat”...simply wonder awes by tearful queries of tea plucking girl as sweat spews over her brow, most eloquent write,10+++, thanks for sharing
    (Report)Reply

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Poem Submitted: Tuesday, March 30, 2010



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