...The Dawn Calls... Poem by Shahzia Batool

...The Dawn Calls...

Rating: 3.5


“How short time is! ”
“telling Me? ”
“nopes! just reminding myself”
“I worked hard; still what I wish is beyond the moon”
“the moon is unattainable”
“that’s hard”
“that’s true”
“ah, yes…but then, it’s hard”
“have a look! The sun dips”
“yeah, it sinks”
“dips here, gonna rise, somewhere else”
“it’ll be dark soon”
“the stars will décor the dark, you wait and see”
“hmm, that’s life”
“what’ll you do now? ”
“I? , smoke life in metaphors, I’ll think poems”
“you’ll burn yourself”
“I extinguish myself”
“the sun will be up again”
“huh, to sink again, somewhere else”
“YOU…..”
“oh ok, but will it not sink again? , d'you deny it? ”
“the time flies”
“yeah, a relief”
“what’s a heart? ”
“an aching spot, why need asking? ”
“but then, aching’s life”
“depends, how you take it”
“i…take it, aching, burning, bleeding”
“the dead don’t bleed”
“oh, be quiet…”
“truth is unshunnable”
“hey, look! not dark yet, strange”
“the stars and starlets, glowing, a ransom for the sun”
“can’t you forget? ”
“you want death of me? ”
“trees might be listening to us, they breathe”
“let them…”
“ask them to get away from here”
“whom…? ”
“the stars…”
“they’re friends”
“I’m jealous, let the sun come up, let me die in chores”
“escaping? ”
“I wish I could! ”
“regretting? What? ”
“they kill me without knowing they’re killing me”
“you are lonely? ”
“sometimes, when they are with me, not when I’m really alone”
“tears are worthless”
“priceless”
“worthless, especially when none’s there to …”
“you stay here”
“I’m inevitable, where’ll I go! ”
“you’re precious”
“let’s fly from here”
“not that I’m rooted, my wings are not yet open, can’t trust them”
“you never tried? ”
“I never will…”
“hey, look…some light”
“I suspect the sun…”
“think of the right word”
“I knew it, I’ll die in daylight, they’ll keep me, possess me, I’ll be not me”
“hogwash! You’ll change”
“not my choice”
“you had a vision once”
“my heart aches still”
“life’s calling …say Hi! ”
“will you….? ”
“see, don’t you delude yourself…”
“…..stay with me? ”
“let me go, you stay good, write poems, live life, love colors…not bad”
“you trust me? ”
“I know you live, when you care to”
“I’m incorrigible, but, you know me…where’s my avatar? ”
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“3 appointments Today….wish me luck…! ! ! ”
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Tuesday, April 29, 2014
Topic(s) of this poem: night
COMMENTS OF THE POEM
Savita Tyagi 29 April 2014

Marvelous! Let me die in chores! Need to do my grocery! wish me luck!

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Ramesh Rai 29 April 2014

Wish you good luck. All the best with sweet dawn of every life.

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Life is busy always. Few moments of relaxation help. Nice poem.

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Salini Nair 02 May 2014

“dips here, gonna rise, somewhere else” enjoyed reading...i like it......

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Lyn Paul 01 May 2014

Enjoyed your words that you have shared with us. May everything go well for you, keep smiling x

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Dinesan Madathil 30 April 2014

Hope you were not disappointed at the end of your appointments yesterday..... As poetry is the luxury of an idle mind too, you are rejoicing here Shahziaji and have it this way.... Anyways kudos for the new format of speaking out the minds of diametrically polar entities.

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Xelam Kan™ 29 April 2014

mmmmm actually a good theme is treated hastily, missing pronouns work but too much inverted commas spoil the flow, 2nd while using iamb let the rhythm make her way, you have chopped the music and made it more prosaic rather poetry, (prose is poetic too) here you should use more metaphors and similes caz the the subject demand so, sometimes plain diction does carry the boat but figurative expression has its charm(whose know better than you) ya trying to turn your feelings and words into strong vivid images, that could print on the minds of readers. p.s. i will come to it later again for further reading

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