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Wednesday, January 12, 2005

The Rejection Slip

Rating: 3.8
all would-be poets, take note!
proofread that so-called poem you just wrote!
those who aspire for more Famous Days
please steer clear of these clichés:

so what if your heart
beats,
leaps,
bleeds,
weeps,
throbs,
breaks,
soars,
aches,
cries
sighs
skips,
or dies?
hearts are ever in a state of perpetual disrepair
we don’t need you to tell us

who cares if your soul
tears,
flips,
fades,
rips,
shimmers,
dances,
glistens,
prances,
bounces,
flounces,
shivers,
or trounces?
souls are soiled and sold in bars and airports everywhere
we don’t need you to tell us

we already know the world is
small,
doomed,
cruel,
entombed,
spoiled,
alone,
frigid,
a stone,
squeezed,
diseased,
dismantled,
displeased
the world is a brutal desert, mercilessly fallow
we don’t need you to tell us

don’t go on about how your poetry
moves,
sways,
dives,
plays,
hates,
doesn’t,
is,
wasn’t,
entreats
defeats
scores,
then retreats
the very art itself is narcissistically shallow
we don’t need you to prove it

all would be poets, take heed!
before you publish your crap to read,
consider these guidelines lest they be your death
by wasted ink, wasted pages, wasted hours, wasted breath!
Rev. Dr. A. Jacob Hassler
READ THIS POEM IN OTHER LANGUAGES
COMMENTS
Robert Howard 20 June 2007
Today the top 500, tomorrow the world!
0 0 Reply
Sandra Osborne 06 March 2007
Very creative, creating a poem consisting of what should not be in one. Intresting angle.
0 0 Reply
All I can say is 'amen.' So true. So true. That said, YOUR poem affected me profoundly.
0 0 Reply
Chuck Audette 02 June 2006
Excellent poem! I think I'd rather get a rejection slip than a rejected organ. - chuck
0 0 Reply
Mike Finley 03 May 2006
We have been warned.
0 0 Reply
kenneth william snow 10 March 2005
Brilliant poem...excellent rhymes
0 0 Reply
Michael Shepherd 16 February 2005
Now that's a great performance piece, Jake...would catch the attention of any audience. Of course, you'd have to 'follow that'...
0 0 Reply
Michael Shepherd 01 February 2005
so you do read my poems after all?
0 0 Reply
you both remind me of Statler & Waldorf...only they were funnier. warmly, AJH
0 0 Reply
Herbert Nehrlich1 12 January 2005
But the REAL question is: Do we need YOU to tell us any of this? I for one am slipping my rejection slip for you under your door. You can mark on it with your red felt pen. Please consider my remarks here as tongue-in-cheek as yours were meant to be. H
0 0 Reply

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