The Rejection Slip Poem by Rev. Dr. A. Jacob Hassler

The Rejection Slip

Rating: 3.8


all would-be poets, take note!
proofread that so-called poem you just wrote!
those who aspire for more Famous Days
please steer clear of these clichés:

so what if your heart
beats,
leaps,
bleeds,
weeps,
throbs,
breaks,
soars,
aches,
cries
sighs
skips,
or dies?
hearts are ever in a state of perpetual disrepair
we don’t need you to tell us

who cares if your soul
tears,
flips,
fades,
rips,
shimmers,
dances,
glistens,
prances,
bounces,
flounces,
shivers,
or trounces?
souls are soiled and sold in bars and airports everywhere
we don’t need you to tell us

we already know the world is
small,
doomed,
cruel,
entombed,
spoiled,
alone,
frigid,
a stone,
squeezed,
diseased,
dismantled,
displeased
the world is a brutal desert, mercilessly fallow
we don’t need you to tell us

don’t go on about how your poetry
moves,
sways,
dives,
plays,
hates,
doesn’t,
is,
wasn’t,
entreats
defeats
scores,
then retreats
the very art itself is narcissistically shallow
we don’t need you to prove it

all would be poets, take heed!
before you publish your crap to read,
consider these guidelines lest they be your death
by wasted ink, wasted pages, wasted hours, wasted breath!

COMMENTS OF THE POEM
Lenchen Elf 12 January 2005

Bloody brilliant, will stock up on highlighter pens for my own very painful howlers: -)

0 0 Reply
Andrew Fincham 12 January 2005

I'm with the Elf. If only proofreading would help...

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Herbert Nehrlich1 12 January 2005

But the REAL question is: Do we need YOU to tell us any of this? I for one am slipping my rejection slip for you under your door. You can mark on it with your red felt pen. Please consider my remarks here as tongue-in-cheek as yours were meant to be. H

0 0 Reply
Rev. Dr. A. Jacob Hassler 27 January 2005

you both remind me of Statler & Waldorf...only they were funnier. warmly, AJH

0 0 Reply
Michael Shepherd 01 February 2005

so you do read my poems after all?

0 0 Reply
Robert Howard 20 June 2007

Today the top 500, tomorrow the world!

0 0 Reply
Sandra Osborne 06 March 2007

Very creative, creating a poem consisting of what should not be in one. Intresting angle.

0 0 Reply
Siona Doyle-McLaughlin 13 July 2006

All I can say is 'amen.' So true. So true. That said, YOUR poem affected me profoundly.

0 0 Reply
Chuck Audette 02 June 2006

Excellent poem! I think I'd rather get a rejection slip than a rejected organ. - chuck

0 0 Reply
Mike Finley 03 May 2006

We have been warned.

0 0 Reply
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