The Rejection Slip Poem by Rev. Dr. A. Jacob Hassler

all would-be poets, take note!
proofread that so-called poem you just wrote!
those who aspire for more Famous Days
please steer clear of these clichés:

so what if your heart
beats,
leaps,
bleeds,
weeps,
throbs,
breaks,
soars,
aches,
cries
sighs
skips,
or dies?
hearts are ever in a state of perpetual disrepair
we don’t need you to tell us

who cares if your soul
tears,
flips,
fades,
rips,
shimmers,
dances,
glistens,
prances,
bounces,
flounces,
shivers,
or trounces?
souls are soiled and sold in bars and airports everywhere
we don’t need you to tell us

we already know the world is
small,
doomed,
cruel,
entombed,
spoiled,
alone,
frigid,
a stone,
squeezed,
diseased,
dismantled,
displeased
the world is a brutal desert, mercilessly fallow
we don’t need you to tell us

don’t go on about how your poetry
moves,
sways,
dives,
plays,
hates,
doesn’t,
is,
wasn’t,
entreats
defeats
scores,
then retreats
the very art itself is narcissistically shallow
we don’t need you to prove it

all would be poets, take heed!
before you publish your crap to read,
consider these guidelines lest they be your death
by wasted ink, wasted pages, wasted hours, wasted breath!