Aden Orie


Thing Called Feelings - Poem by Aden Orie

Let my worries
carry me
let my thoughts
drown me
let my wounds
leave me empty
why, I ask myself
why do I allow
all that I know
to control the now

Use this power for good
use this power for bad
it's my life it's my god
it's my mom it's my dad

through the good and the bad
I see through, like there is no evil
like there is no black smoke
like the air that we breathe
is the air that we broke

leave us alone
we’re here to feel
here to find out
what is real

we only see through our own two eyes
we only know
what we have been taught
the battle is over
but I never even fought.


Comments about Thing Called Feelings by Aden Orie

  • Ivor Hogg (10/27/2011 9:47:00 AM)

    I liked the theme But a little attention to meter would make it flow more smoothly (Report)Reply

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  • Kevin Maroney (10/10/2011 2:48:00 PM)

    I like the message of this poem very much - we are burdened with these feelings of generations past without really understanding why - it isn't our 'battle, ' but someone else's, a someone who wants us to give them their glory though we really can't 'feel' the signifcance, as though our own lives were being thrown aside for the past. This pushes us to try and do something ourselves so that we feel we are real, something we 'see through our own two eyes, ' which may not be a real cause, but it gives meaning when compared with the heritage we recieved but never requested. Wonderful read and a deep concept (what I like best about it) . However, I would urge you to try and condense it more succinctly - I don't mean make it more simple, but perhaps use a richer metaphor that encapsulates your ideas and requires more time to puzzle out. Other than that, I can find no faults with this poem, and look forward to others - I also urge you to read some of mine (I suggest 'Memoria' as a start - thanks) . (Report)Reply

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  • Miriam Maia PaduaMiriam Maia Padua (10/8/2011 11:41:00 PM)

    You write so well...
    you have the capacity to make your readers' eye
    glued to your words and think..
    this is convincing, touching and in your own nice style..
    (Report)Reply

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  • Aqeb BenazirAqeb Benazir (10/8/2011 4:06:00 PM)

    this is quite a poem! brilliantly depicted...nothing much to say as all the comments below me said it all. however the very last stanza ended this with a bombshell, well creative piece. I can relate to it in a way with one of mine I wrote a couple months back: -

    'Find the truth within the lies,
    Fight your pride to end this cry,
    Trust your soul; open the door
    Balance yourself and roll the stones.'
    (Report)Reply

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  • Eric Cockrell (10/8/2011 8:02:00 AM)

    another great searching poem... but the battle is not over, it's just begun. be strong! (Report)Reply

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  • Hans VrHans Vr (10/8/2011 5:52:00 AM)

    What a great poem, reflecting the search for identity. It describes so well the trap many an adult is falling in at the end of puberty. Too many adults think the battle is over and we have evolved from childhood through puberty to steady sturdy adults. Let us choose not to leave puberty. The more we search for truth, the more we try to see through the eyes of others, the more we read, the more we criticall interpret, the higher our peace of mind and the higher our awareness.

    I would say, keep battling, Aden. Start to 'fight', in the figurative sense you used fight in your poem. I paste below an excerpt from the essay, circles form RW Emerson. Let your soul be strong, for a wise heart refuses to be imprisoned.

    'The key to every man is his thought. Sturdy and defying though he look, he has a helm which he obeys, which is the idea after which all his facts are classified. He can only be reformed by showing him a new idea which commands his own. The life of man is a self-evolving circle, which, from a ring imperceptibly small, rushes on all sides outwards to new and larger circles, and that without end. The extent to which this generation of circles, wheel without wheel, will go, depends on the force or truth of the individual soul. For it is the inert effort of each thought, having formed itself into a circular wave of circumstance, — as, for instance, an empire, rules of an art, a local usage, a religious rite, — to heap itself on that ridge, and to solidify and hem in the life. But if the soul is quick and strong, it bursts over that boundary on all sides, and expands another orbit on the great deep, which also runs up into a high wave, with attempt again to stop and to bind. But the heart refuses to be imprisoned; in its first and narrowest pulses, it already tends outward with a vast force, and to immense and innumerable expansions.'
    (Report)Reply

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  • Unwritten SoulUnwritten Soul (10/7/2011 11:16:00 PM)

    Aden, good for you to reveal all feelings out in this craft :) I know you inviting me for such good poem and i expect as good as this..This is very well written :) Keep it up Aden.. The most thing we need to always remember is, feeling is possess by something living...it's pain happy bitter and anything but these feeling are more than soul perception, it's how we sense the life...like tongue we taste sweet sour bitter salty, it make the food feel so delicious not all sweet, so even we feel bitterness but mixed with some happy and sad may bring you some meaning in life taste...Never feel down just we need actually courage..and keep your courage in writing, never afraid what it final sound just do it :)
    NIce write Aden, keep writing and thanks for inviting :) _Unwritten Soul
    (Report)Reply

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  • Dheer Kapoor (10/7/2011 10:09:00 PM)

    Dear Aden.What a lovely poem you have written.....Fabulous yaar..........U r saying that u have not written from a while but not a single glimpse of your statement appears from the poem....U r a very good writer.....keep writing.... (Report)Reply

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  • Elena SanduElena Sandu (10/7/2011 9:30:00 PM)

    Good poem, the battle may be over but as you learned, the best times are those of peace when people tries to rebuild the ruins brought by wars. Be a hard worker, study with your heart learn the truth and rise to light no matter how hard the pain of a fail may get.Up! Then to shall start again.. (Report)Reply

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  • Jim Troy (10/7/2011 9:01:00 PM)

    I like your openess for sure... and it is a good and interesting read....a young
    man coming to grips with life... Keep writing for sure...

    Thanks for the invite...................Jim Troy
    (Report)Reply

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  • Bella Hernandez (10/7/2011 8:20:00 PM)

    i completely love this poem
    speaks volumes to me and i bet others too
    dont quite understand why you would say that your rusty
    bc this poem is just absolutely amazing! !
    love you friend Bella
    (Report)Reply

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  • Shadow Girl (10/7/2011 8:13:00 PM)

    I really like this..great free form poetry...keep writing.
    -SG
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  • invalid Files (10/7/2011 7:55:00 PM)

    Wow that's really great! ! There were some parts I didn't quite understand but other than that, it was awesome!
    Loved the last line : D
    (Report)Reply

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  • Romeo Della ValleRomeo Della Valle (10/7/2011 7:53:00 PM)

    I deeply agree with Stefanie Fontker and George J. Carroll! Just read it to yourself aloud a few times and check your spelling! You always can edit it and give it a new look without losing its meaning! Keep inspiring the World with more of your talented writes! Love and Peace for always! Romeo from New York City! ... (Report)Reply

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  • Jenni Carter (10/7/2011 7:50:00 PM)

    this poem is nice I like it I think I'm rather rusty myself I started writing poetry in august 2008 and I've wrote alot since (Report)Reply

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  • Hosny Soliman (10/7/2011 7:31:00 PM)

    Well done nice poem my dear friend.Really i enjoyed it. (Report)Reply

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  • Tabatta Nunes (10/7/2011 7:08:00 PM)

    wow nice poem, it sounds like your struggleing with yourself. like your concience (Report)Reply

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  • Claudia KrizayClaudia Krizay (10/7/2011 6:46:00 PM)

    unusually excellent! ! (Report)Reply

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  • Stefanie Fontker (10/7/2011 6:39:00 PM)

    Interesting concepts. I like this, it's beautiful. I think it would look a lot better if you cleaned it up a bit, though. Anyways, great work. (Report)Reply

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  • Tiffany M...Tiffany M... (10/7/2011 6:22:00 PM)

    I really love this one <3 I can relate to it strongly, it really has a good flow to it, and m=amazing metaphors. Keep it up! I can't believe that this is 'rusty' to you! : 3 Brava! (Report)Reply

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Poem Submitted: Friday, October 7, 2011

Poem Edited: Saturday, October 8, 2011


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