Let my worries
carry me
let my thoughts
drown me
let my wounds
leave me empty
why, I ask myself
why do I allow
all that I know
to control the now
Use this power for good
use this power for bad
it's my life it's my god
it's my mom it's my dad
through the good and the bad
I see through, like there is no evil
like there is no black smoke
like the air that we breathe
is the air that we broke
leave us alone
we’re here to feel
here to find out
what is real
we only see through our own two eyes
we only know
what we have been taught
the battle is over
but I never even fought.
this poem is nice I like it I think I'm rather rusty myself I started writing poetry in august 2008 and I've wrote alot since
I deeply agree with Stefanie Fontker and George J. Carroll! Just read it to yourself aloud a few times and check your spelling! You always can edit it and give it a new look without losing its meaning! Keep inspiring the World with more of your talented writes! Love and Peace for always! Romeo from New York City! ...
Wow that's really great! ! There were some parts I didn't quite understand but other than that, it was awesome! Loved the last line : D
I liked the theme But a little attention to meter would make it flow more smoothly
I like the message of this poem very much - we are burdened with these feelings of generations past without really understanding why - it isn't our 'battle, ' but someone else's, a someone who wants us to give them their glory though we really can't 'feel' the signifcance, as though our own lives were being thrown aside for the past. This pushes us to try and do something ourselves so that we feel we are real, something we 'see through our own two eyes, ' which may not be a real cause, but it gives meaning when compared with the heritage we recieved but never requested. Wonderful read and a deep concept (what I like best about it) . However, I would urge you to try and condense it more succinctly - I don't mean make it more simple, but perhaps use a richer metaphor that encapsulates your ideas and requires more time to puzzle out. Other than that, I can find no faults with this poem, and look forward to others - I also urge you to read some of mine (I suggest 'Memoria' as a start - thanks) .
You write so well... you have the capacity to make your readers' eye glued to your words and think.. this is convincing, touching and in your own nice style..
another great searching poem... but the battle is not over, it's just begun. be strong!
Aden, good for you to reveal all feelings out in this craft :) I know you inviting me for such good poem and i expect as good as this..This is very well written :) Keep it up Aden.. The most thing we need to always remember is, feeling is possess by something living...it's pain happy bitter and anything but these feeling are more than soul perception, it's how we sense the life...like tongue we taste sweet sour bitter salty, it make the food feel so delicious not all sweet, so even we feel bitterness but mixed with some happy and sad may bring you some meaning in life taste...Never feel down just we need actually courage..and keep your courage in writing, never afraid what it final sound just do it :) NIce write Aden, keep writing and thanks for inviting :) _Unwritten Soul
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
wow nice poem, it sounds like your struggleing with yourself. like your concience