This Curse - Poem by Connor Whyte
When I find a person that I come to like I find there is something wrong with that person whether its emotional problems or A internal problem Sometimes even both, Abused or raped and so far hurt, I can't help this person because sometimes the person is to far gone or to close to dying, Or that person lives so far away, I can never find the right one, And I have no luck with a person, Is this a curse?
A girl asked me if I am afraid of death, I told her no because death is nothing to fear, I asked her if she was and she told me sometimes I fear it but could it be worse then the way I feel? Sometimes I want it to come so I feel no pain. I turned my head in pain but showed no emotions, I wanted to cry because this girl was in so much pain and I could not do anything, I did not cry because I can't cry anymore.
She faded into unconsciousness and I became worried, She woke up and was so dizzy I held her hand and asked if its okay that I am here. She then told me I am sorry that I do not look very good, I said you look beautiful to me anyways, Her kidneys are failing and and her body is slowly poisoning itself, Knowing I can't do anything and know she is fading hurts me, I come to like her and I only spent two days with her and I feel I need her for some reason.
Her old boyfriend abused her and she still feels for him, She asked me if I think people can change, I told her its hard to tell the person has to be willing to change and get help because if they can't get help they will never change, I told her if her old boyfriend really loves her he will get help but if he does not he will hurt her.
This girl talked to me for awhile and I fell more for her, She told me she still loves him but does not want to be hurt and afraid anymore, I told her you don't have to afraid its your choice to carry on with him and if you feel safer away from him then stay away.
My body began to shake and so did my hands, I don't understand why I barely know this girl but I feel so much for her. She is so pretty and very kind she speaks to me in a strong way.
She told me the only thing I really ever want is to be a mother and care for the child and show the child many things but I know my time is getting short unless I can get help in time, My body got heavy and my chest began to hurt I felt so bad and felt so sorry for her, I wanted to kiss her but knew it would be weird, She needed rest because she was so weak, She said I don't want to sound rude or anything but I really need to sleep, I hugged her and said I would check on her tomorrow. I have come to have feelings for her and I know it will never work I will only get hurt, As I got on my board and rode home I felt dead inside and so heavy and I could not focus, I felt I was unconscious as I rode lost in my thoughts about her, And I wanted to turn back and see her like this day would be the last time I would see her as if she would die, I stopped and sat on the concrete wanting to cry but could not do it as if everyone in
the world was watching me.
Is this A curse?
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