Why Did I Not Answer … Poem by Angelina Pandian

Why did I not answer you?
When you asked me
To become yours
Was it because I knew
You were not your own
But two other lives owned you.

Why did I not come running?
When you said come
Did I sense the shadow
Of doubt in your voice
How to explain if we met
Someone who knew.

Why was I not thrilled?
When you said
Let us become committed
Leading a life maybe unhappy
It seemed more like
Convenience in camouflage.

If you plan to keep me
Under cover
Why pretend?
Why call it names and talk about
Commitment and companionship
Knowing well
You can never be there
When I need
But, I should be there
When you have a want.

You talk of dreams
Of gifts you’ll give
Of my needs you’ll take care
But, did you think
I may just need a hand to clasp
A shoulder to lean on
Sit under the stars
And go to sleep.

I am a woman
I know my needs my pains
I also know I don’t borrow
Neither husbands nor betray kin
You may have been my friend
But, your wife though unknown yet
Is closer still because of another bond
That she too is a hapless woman
Victim! unknown to herself, to you!

Why did I not answer you?
Answer your call or phone bell
Why did I not answer …..
But, let my daughter say
“Mom, has gone to bed
Sorry, I’ll tell her you called”
I hope you now know
Where my anchor lies
And I’ll not drift with the wind.