You never hear the awful tale of poor old Aunty Em’
Her story has as much appeal as flying-monkey phlegm
But Kansas ain't so pretty after twisters, you can bet
And “Happy Ever After” is a myth you best forget.
She climbed the cellar-stairs to find the farmhouse was destroyed
And thirty seconds later- -all three farmhands: unemployed
She sent the trio packing, then kicked Toto in the teeth-
He found a pile of wood and quickly scampered underneath.
The hogs were hanging from the trees- -impaled with hooks and blades
The horses looked like they had been exploded by grenades
A weather-vane from three doors down had severed Bessie’s head
And twenty chickens quivered under what was once a shed.
The tractor fell to pieces and would not be bouncing back-
It's thought to be the cause of Uncle Henry's heart attack
The barn was gone, the silo too—as well as all the grain
And now that this year's crops are shot- -here comes the needed rain.
Last words Henry spoke before his heart lost all endurance:
'Sorry, Em, but I forgot to pay the damn insurance.'
You are phenomenally talented when it comes to morbid humourous poetry. This is the sort of poem that makes me slap my head and think Why didn't I think of that? ?
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
OMG! That was an amazing read! I LOVED it! You have a great sense of humor. I agree with Paul Brookes...your poem is truly WICKED! Thanks for writing that!