I shall miss my pet human, Steve.
I loved to play with him,
hear the gasps from the watching millions,
grinning my big toothy grin,
stretching up to grab the snack
knowing well that I could have snacked
on him instead or
knocked him aside, grabbed his baby,
gulp
but hey, who’s stoopid enough
to eat their meal ticket?
Steve worked hard for me –
who has a pet that efficient, hard-working?
Better than a robot and
just as predictable.
He made all the arrangements,
kept me in luxury.
And the really big deal,
We crocs get protected world-wide
if we pretend to behave around people
and so do all the animals,
which is a good thing
since we can all, each species,
do one thing at least better than any man..
did you think of that, pet?
So though humans, being the inferior
do-a-lot-of-things-but-badly species,
do lots of idiotic things
that would ruin the planet
that animals run so well
if you let us,
they’re OK as pets
if you treat them right
and we have to share the planet
with the idiots anyway
don’t forget that animals
always know one thing above all –
is it in our interest
to kill our pet humans?
that’s where that stoopid sting-ray
showed itself an inferior species,
guess it hadn’t known Steve
long enough to suss that out,
or got swollen head (well look at it) being
on TV, thought it was a character
in Neighbours
What a waste – I’d trained him so well,
I wonder if he really knew that..
anyway, we made a good double act..
I shall really miss my pet human,
Steve.
You naughty croc! You let him go swimming without his Ray-Bans!
Brilliant Michael, but for chrissake don't let Tai see or read it.
I am an Australian and live only a couple of hours from Australia Zoo. This was a beautiful poem for Steve. He really was a true champion of wildlife.
Your words are really painful for us to read loved to play with him, hear the gasps from the watching mill......... great write, wish to more write for us
I like this Michael. I have actually thought about the animals he's left behind. (yeah, yeah, I know...what a waste of time thinking...whatever!) I imagine you've touched on something those alligators probably are feeling. Sincerely, Mary
Michael, Oh Wise One of the P/H Forum Committee, You have managed to find the middle ground in this silly debate and wittily defuse a lot of inane bickering. I salute you. love, Allie xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
Ah so very sweet, with a clever twist. A greiving crocidile rather than a human. This is why I like this poem, you have written in a style that allows the poem to mourn over the loss of steve because it is through the crocidile words. It has touches of soft humour (the stingray with the big head is a nice touch) and the idea that Steve was the pet. Michael you have managed to write a touching, light, warming poem, without making me want to reach for the sick bucket. It is becuase of your great poetic ability that you can do this. Nice work. regards Vincent.