(140) On An Angel (On Silssa) Poem by premji premji
(140) On An Angel (On Silssa)
Now:
I am just a statue,
made of salt,
so how can I cry?
Tell me dear...
One dropp of tear may
dissolve me away!
Now:
my mind is just a sea,
made of tears,
so how can I cry?
Tell me dear...
One dropp of tear:
nothing before a sea!
The innocence in your eyes
cuts my soul
like a razor...
When you
writhe in pain,
how can I make you smile?
Every needle pierces you:
craters my heart,
every moment of pain:
I can feel at heart...
Like crucifixion, has to
end up in resurrection!
'Why is he so cruel to me,
for what fault of mine? '
You lament to me...
When I myself is
a silent lamentation,
how can I console you...
Every known philosophy
is meaningless
when it is applied
on our beloveds,
it is a universal
truth, bitter!
Dear, through paining you,
He torments himself....
The aura of your Krishna
is that of self torture!
He is just testing you
and he likes to surrender...
Every hair you loose:
lost days in my life...
Every extra cell grows:
never intend to hurt you,
they curse themselves
every moment, you know!
Now I am just a candle,
both ends burning!
I can't stand her pains.
O! Deity!
Deign her,
bedew on her!
Just leave her to existence,
I will leave anything instead:
poetry,
own love,
own life,
anything for her!
If you need a soul:
just take mine,
put it into any chaos,
plunge it into
any chasm,
I will never complain...
Every moment,
myself- a
silent prayer!
It is selfless!
O! Almighty,
let it be honoured!
30.04.98
On April 98, my little sister Silssa was diagnosed suffering from Ewing’s sarcoma, a type of cancer which makes the bones spongy. She was just fifteen, a budding writer herself. She used to write stories in Malayalam and English, poems in English. She was an embodiment of love…my Guru…dispeller of darkness! In 1999 she left me alone, of course it was a year of losses in all the ways!
let be calm and silence rule over us......... let the soul lay in peace......
’…One dropp of tear: nothing before a sea! ...’ Aye! ! ! billionth fractions of sincere tear dropp can make Mountain to walk and even GOD. I repeat GOD. As Ramakrishna [RK] said, God is ‘Quick-Eared’. I trust very much the way you squeezed out words from your bruised heart surely your sister got a warm ‘Divine-Lap’ of RK where she is happy. But I rate [ten+++] as I’m a poet despite all trauma as your co-sharer. Regards, dr.sakti
Premji, your sister's wonderful thoughts shine through her poetry and her life has not been in vain in spite of the injustice of her illness and death. Thanks for sharing her poetry with all of us.
really heart wrenching..! ! ! i m speechless of what comments shall i give..
why, it happens.where is god at that point.these are the questions we ask again and again.but we get no answer.i can only try to understand the pain u and yr sis went through.god bless her soul.
Oh, God! Very touching truly. I am a fifteen year old myself & it always make me wonder why is there suffering, why is there pain, sorrow, & disease? I wish to work to help ease all this pain... I pray that Silssa, wherever she is, is now happy, joyful & loved & loving!
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4/24/2024 11:54:15 PM # 1.0.0.1119
Superb write. You are indeed a poet worthy of the name. You must continue to write beautiful verses for her sake. Beyond marks. Always your friend, Sandra