4 Am Poem by Laquory Jones

Looking at the clock it's 4 am
Half of the time I don't even know
What my mind has me thinking
Perhaps I should pick up drinking
I'm just really kidding but
Sometimes I be on the brink with
My own reality while dealing with
back to back tragedies that drains
Me mentally constantly as it internally
Cuts through my external family telling
Me it's all in my mental so I let the
Tears fall through the waist side as
I grip harder on this pencil knowing
That this pain is so essential

My Step-Sister has breast cancer I barely
Call lately she's been dealing with depression
But I know deep down she's really stressing
And when I call we barely talk at all
I can barely stand it at all and it eats me up
Alive looking at the news people committing
Mass murders a dude from Dayton, Ohio
Killed his own sister then committed suicide
After he took eight lives it seems as if
Every day I'm witnessing the world's genocide
People yelling at me that the world has its
Problems and its a battle just to solve them
No one wants to help resolve them

Another friend of mine might have cancer
She's fallen sick and the doctors not providing
Any answers with every question asked they
Only seem to provide dancers (dancers around?)
And now I'm at a crossroads I hate that sometimes
I get this thoughtful sinking deeper within
The madness while sinking in its sadness
Getting lost in all its vastness my mind becomes
Like elastic Clay telling myself that everything
Will turn out okay but what I feel through these
Inner veins knows that it will never be
Cold Sweats waking me up at night through my
Dreams Richie perhaps You just to need to Chill
Stressing out myself to show you my poetic skills
So many people are falling ill it's as if I'm living
In a nightmare a night terror providing scares

Hitting Rock bottom is giving me a new
Perspective as if I'm falling into a spectrum
Pain and stress becoming collectives of
life's retrospectives the feelings of my
Youth spilling true with emotions bleeding
Through but that was nothing new
But I'm wondering what was life's objectives
Perhaps I could have been more receptive
But a poet and his mind are pure reflective
While struggling with the world's invective
Trying to twist these words within my
Brain and dissect them I'm getting lost in
The fray with all this stress that I intake

9/13/2019