A Caravan Of Thoughts (Part 1) Poem by Hira Akhtar

A Caravan Of Thoughts (Part 1)

Rating: 5.0

Vanquished by a storm of thoughts, so blustery
Struggling to unravel a mystery

A mystery, those could only solve
who let their "selves", from the prison of desires, to absolve

A mystery, the depth of which is a bottomless ocean
Gets resuscitated, whoever dives in it, a blessing of devotion

So, I jumped on the horse of dedication and took the sword of perseverance
Heading towards my destination, with a desire, so immense

Wandering in my wilderness, I entered a valley called "The World"
where everyone was loving everything except the "Love" Himself, my conscience swirled

Drowning in the ocean of my own thoughts, I heard a noise
Take this perishing boy to the king, who is very wise

I followed the crowd, and the whole thing astonished me
The king was told the boy had disobeyed his mother the whole life, now his condition, see!

The king called his mother and asked her to forgive her son
She refused, and the king ordered to put the woods on fire and throw her son, in

At this, the mother cried out, "I forgive him, don't do this cruelty
The king grinned and the soul of the boy departed, peacefully

I smiled at the answer of what "love" for a mother is!
and moved on carrying my satchel of questions, with a bliss

As the dark prevailed, I entered a nearby mosque
where a dervish was sitting, covered with frost

I asked him, "why don't you go inside in this cold"
He replied, "I fear that the warmth of the blanket will hold"

How can I let my "selfish-self" drag me away from the remembrance of my lord?

Hearing this, I presented my question, "what is love for you? ", inquisitively
"Love is inside you, you're the mirror of love", he replied ardently

Hearing his words, a shiver went down my spine
And I sat there numb, staring at him, as if he had poured inside me, a glass of wine

-In search of what love actually is!
Rajnish Manga 24 April 2018

An insightful poem with a philosophical touch. It would be fine if the poem is formatted so that it is easier for the reader to read it. Thanks.

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Hira Akhtar 26 April 2018

Thank you Sir! Your siggestions are always welcome! But I would like to know what should i change?

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Abhimanyu Kumar.s 05 July 2018

A well carved caravan and too deep narration. Loved it. Keep growing.

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Hira Akhtar 06 July 2018

Thank you so much, Sir!

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Bri Edwards 04 July 2018

(cont.) .... there are a few minor suggestions i might make which i won't, and, after only one reading, i think i missed some understanding, but i like it overall. to MyPoemList, and then i'm on to read part 2 which i THINK is what you wanted me to read [you only mentioned one poem in the message you sent, and did not give me the title]. bri :)

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Hira Akhtar 05 July 2018

Its always an honour to get some suggestions from you, Sir! Thank you😊 Done with the spelling mistakes you told 😊

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Bri Edwards 04 July 2018

(CONT.) ..remember the second ' ': I forgive him, don't do this cruelity() // and cruelty, not cruelity [i didn't notice the misspelling at first! [from Wikipedia]: A dervish or darvesh (from Persian: درویش, Darvīsh) is someone guiding a Sufi Muslim ascetic down a path or tariqah ....so not dervaish i guess. he replied aredently....i think you 'want' ardently. (cont.) ..

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Bri Edwards 04 July 2018

line 7: i bet you meant: per·se·ver·ance ˌpərsəˈvirəns/ noun noun: perseverance steadfastness in doing something despite difficulty or delay in achieving success. (CONT.) ..

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Hans Vr 21 June 2018

I love this wonderful journey. In search of love, in search of truth, let us never give up this amazing trip towards understanding a bit more. I sometimes compare it to a rocky path above a raging sea. The path hurts our feet but it brings us slowly a bit higher every day. Let us keep on walking! I look forward to part 2. Excellent poetry, truly thought provoking

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Hira Akhtar 22 June 2018

Thank you so much, Sir! I'll be sharing the part 2 very soon, inshaa Allah! 😊

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