A Crow Complains Of His Bitter Voice Poem by kanav justa

A great poem Kanav - like the crow, I can't sing either!

Really liked this poem kana. But I agree with Bri Edwards comments as well. My main compliant is that the poem seems raw and unfinished to me. I personally feel like you have presented us with the gushings of your muse which for me are really just the skeleton of what your already wonderful poem could look like. I find myself looking for the flesh, the heart of kana, which it feels are lacking and make this poem merely 'exceptional' and not 'great' as it could be! Ha! Like Bri I will send you a more personal comment but only if you desire it.

i love the story and the rhymes. i have some suggestions regarding the 'english', and i plan to send those in a separate message, which i don't often do. i mean i usually just throw them in with the comment. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - i did not understand the meaning of these two lines: benath [beneath] the tree a shadow dark of his wings painted faint grey.....................................perhaps beneath the tree passed a shadow dark....? ====================== the 2nd and 4th stanzas are in a tie for my favorite stanza. very nice! thanks for sharing. bri :) ============================================================================= p.s. here is a poem from my list which i wrote about a similar bird, and which is similar in some way to yours. but mine is not sad. The Raven Pair...... [Lovebirds? ; Bird Sounds; 'Beauty Is In The Eye Of The Beholder' (An Old Saying) : Very Short] Their harsh voices seemed almost gentle today, as, in eucalyptus tree, they seemed to say: “Black Beauty, come join me now. I see you are there.” And where I first saw one, I now saw a pair. They’re not cute, may not be your favorite birds, BUT I bet between them …… pass some bird-love words. Bri Edwards Submitted: Wednesday, August 14,2013 ==================== i've been having trouble sending comments recently. i hope i only get one copy of this submitted and that it doesn't take all night.

This is the crow who tried to escape its individuality...nice write

Crows cry and skylarks fly high..... In the world of reverses our poetic license spares none... ha ha ha.. But a fine cluster of sweet tweets not flopped in vain, Kanav. A nine for you. I reduce 1 mark for you have not been reading my poems of late.

how sweetly she tweets, complains the crow when i sing how guttural i sound just below his drooping brow tears rolled towards the ground beautiful expression superb 10++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Thanks for your comment on my poem.I was drawn to your poet page and find here such beautiful poem, my first read. Not only you, but most of us feel the way you feel comparing ourselves with others whom we feel better than us.This makes us depressed. A lovelypoem, thakns for sharing.

ok, this now goes into July's 'a showcase of and for PH poets'. just your name and a link to this page will appear in a list this month (with mostly male PH poets) . thanks. bri :)

i think: May, not may bri ;)

PS: Don't let 'your' admiration for the 'lark's voice' turn you away from your own poems. Study the lark, don't just listen. Her secrets will be revealed and, even if you never sing like her, you will amaze yourself and eventually find your own true voice. Now this is what I call a real comment! : -)