Mohammad Akmal Nazir

Rookie - 13 Points (Bahraich, U.P. India)

A Daring Hope - Poem by Mohammad Akmal Nazir

My pain grows and my heart sinks,
When far away in the sky a star blinks,
The star of my life is about to sink,
And when about it I impatiently think,
I grow restless with the heat of sentiments,
My vivacity departs and my soul bends,
I pray to God for being merciful,
When I go to Him with my accounts sinful,
I couldn't do my duty towards Him,
The prospects of my acquital is dim,
I live my life in earning n spending,
All my good deeds are still pending,
I have reached on the sharp turn of life,
I don't know when I will end this strife,
The world is drawing me towards it,
It seems I will not get respite a bit,
I came in this world but all alone,
My loneliness has forever gone,
I am crushed under the burden of ties,
I don't know where my destination lies,
Friends and foes are alike to me,
Both wound me with emotional glee,
I hope God will realize it in that session,
And allow me a pleasant and fair concession.


Comments about A Daring Hope by Mohammad Akmal Nazir

  • (6/29/2011 11:35:00 PM)

    We all pray for Gods mercy and relief from lifes burdens as you speak,
    a unversal thought for all!
    I agree with the average on score and vote acordingly.
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  • Denis Martindale (6/27/2011 2:09:00 AM)

    If examined from the Christian viewpoint that we are saved by grace as a free gift and not of works lest any man should boast, the poem can't work at all in its present form, simply because we prove our faith in receiving grace and the gift of the Holy Spirit who is the Comforter, for He it is who has the Ministry to draw us to the Cross of Christ and to enable us to do the ministry that God has prepared for us to do successfully.

    If we examine the Old Testament, we see the Psalms and understand how David felt when trying to come to terms with both friends and enemies and how his own sins sabotaged his life. In the New Testament, we see conflicts even between disciples and we see the betrayal of Christ leading to the Cross of Christ.

    Today, each Christian knows both successes and failures in life itself and even closer to home within the friends and family relationships. The poetry isn't perfectly structured and in this confessional style, we can still appreciate the sentiments overall, as in this subdued state, the heart and mind with the memories of conscience, would tend to hope that God looks on the meditations of the heart and mind, the complete and incomplete works and then somehow grants us mercy.

    Since Christians know their sins are forgiven, each continues to confess sins and proceed in their life's pilgrimage, still aiming towards the mark that represents God's perfection for them and in them and through them to others.

    So, as a work in progress, we would swing from grace back to works and back to grace again. Thankfully, God already knows our weaknesses and provides us His promises such as My grace is sufficient unto you... If we stand on the promises, then present-day psalms like this would never be written. Perhaps that's why we don't find a load of poor me psalms in the New Testament.

    I like poetry that reads as structured rhymes, yet still appreciate the way that other styles can strike a chord with me. Other cultures, other religious faiths etc. Other poets can embellish their thoughts to impress us, yet sometimes the simplest words or phrases speak volumes. This is a mixture of complex and basic words and expressions that most of us would find compelling reading.
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  • Yoseph Lupu (6/26/2011 5:55:00 AM)

    I like your poetic style of writing.I know that God spreads LOVE, and therefore, there is hope in our life! I gave 10 points! (Report)Reply

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  • Mehta Hasmukh Amathalal (6/23/2011 7:37:00 PM)

    I hope God will realize it in that session,
    And allow me a pleasant and fair concession........................it is rightly said that man proposes but God disposes or god is willing no body can do a harm to you.
    he is there to listen to all your requests only trust in him..... nice poem....10
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  • (6/6/2011 12:13:00 AM)

     From: Saadat Tahir (Islamabad. Pakistan; Male; 46)
     To: Mohd. Akmal Nazir
     Date Time: 5/25/2011 12: 14: 00 PM (GMT -6: 00)
     Subject: salama....
    these i picked as the best lines...that u reserved for the last stanza....
    very beautiful indeed...
    a truly dedicated and ardent poem...
    cheers... :)
    sat
    I am crushed under the burden of ties,
    I don't know where my destination lies,
    Friends and foes are alike to me,
    Both wound me with emotional glee,
    I hope God will realize it in that session,
    And allow me a pleasant andfair concession.
    (Report)Reply

    0 person liked.
    0 person did not like.
  • Marie Wardalonge (5/15/2011 12:05:00 PM)

    Reflective and insightful delivery with an embattlement of one's life and soul. You wrote for the ones who have such struggles. The title was right on point. It commanded my attention. Good work. Thank you. (Report)Reply

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  • Marie Wardalonge (5/15/2011 11:59:00 AM)

    Reflective and insightful delivery with an embattlement for one's life and soul. You wrote for the ones who have such struggles. The title was right on point. It commanded my attention. Good work. Thank you. (Report)Reply

    0 person liked.
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  • (5/15/2011 8:26:00 AM)

    Thanks for your comments on my poem!
    In 'A Daring Hope' narrator wa daring dare in comparing and contracting: I pray to God for being merciful/go to him with my accounts sinful. Plus, vivid end rhymes that gives this lovely poem a poetic ring. Thanks for sharing, Akmal
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  • Iniduo Iniduo (5/14/2011 11:34:00 AM)

    Well done, a poem that sheds light on the remote corners of the mind. (Report)Reply

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  • (5/14/2011 3:28:00 AM)

    Oh, this was very beautiful. Lovely. (Report)Reply

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  • (5/14/2011 3:26:00 AM)

    Well crafted, with a clear understanding of your emotion and feeling.

    I respect your belief and really hope that you find your 'pleasant and fair concession'
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  • (5/14/2011 1:08:00 AM)

    nice, good work. Keep on keeping on (Report)Reply

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Poem Submitted: Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Poem Edited: Monday, May 16, 2011


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