A Life Cycle

Rating: 3.4
The most painful dawn,
one can ever know,
is the painful death,
of love let go.
Gone with its passing,
Are more than just dreams,
A flower shall wilt,
As jealousy teems.

The most painful noon,
One can ever see,
Is the painful death,
Ofyour mothers dream.
Gone with her eyes,
Are the reflection of you,
As a mirror shall break,
So shall you too.

The most painful day,
One can ever feel,
Is the painful death,
Of the ideal.
The mirror once broke,
Shall repair a new,
But in its reflection,
A darker view.

The most painful dusk,
One can ever taste,
Is the painful death,
Of your lovers face.
Gone with her smile,
Are the remnants of wonder,
Impossible to hold,
When buried asunder.

The most painful eve,
One will ever fight,
Is the painful death,
Of dawn to night.
While life is a trial,
Filled with ladders and rope,
There is nothing more painful,
Than forgetting to
hope.


Copyright (c)David DeSantis
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Topic(s) of this poem: life and death
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COMMENTS
Ben Gieske 31 January 2009
Nicely crafted. I like the format. I like all your metaphors. This one is very striking for me. The mirror once broke, Shall repair a new, But in its reflection, A darker view “There is nothing more painful, /Than forgetting to hope.” This is especially meaningful since you aligned it with eve and dawn.
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Tj Becker 03 October 2008
I have to say this was amazing. Your vocabulary, the emotion, flow, rhyme perfection. The mirror once broke, Shall repair a new, But in its reflection, A darker view. - what awesome lines..A good read in every way
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Delilah Miller 10 July 2008
It does mimic the life cycle very well. I suppose you wrote this in a very dark hour, because your other poems are so fair and hopeful. The point of this was, after all, to not forget to hope Delilah
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Robert Howard 29 May 2008
Great poem - well structured.
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Ashley Dickerson 27 May 2008
you were right, i believe that this is my favorite.
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Kesav Easwaran 21 May 2008
Methodic meticulous style of poem writing... message contained with in not missing or spilling out...pain one would feel at different times at different stages in one's life has been painted using wonderful word colors... one ten for this pain cycle...
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Commendable work, David...your stanzaec construction moves with almost flawless metre/rhythm and cascades mellifluously throughout. Solid crafting, here. ~ FjR ~ ..2008..
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Stone Granite 13 May 2008
Outstanding! Pain is in everything and everywhere. I love the flow of this poem and the sentiment of it. Great stuff.
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Austin Zaratzian 08 May 2008
f****ing wow, this poem is amazing its like the secret to life its the poem i've been looking for
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Lynda Robson 06 May 2008
A very moving write David, it builds up as it goes along, excellent, Lynda xx
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