A Life Cycle Poem by David DeSantis

A Life Cycle

Rating: 3.4

The most painful dawn,
one can ever know,
is the painful death,
of love let go.
Gone with its passing,
Are more than just dreams,
A flower shall wilt,
As jealousy teems.

The most painful noon,
One can ever see,
Is the painful death,
Ofyour mothers dream.
Gone with her eyes,
Are the reflection of you,
As a mirror shall break,
So shall you too.

The most painful day,
One can ever feel,
Is the painful death,
Of the ideal.
The mirror once broke,
Shall repair a new,
But in its reflection,
A darker view.

The most painful dusk,
One can ever taste,
Is the painful death,
Of your lovers face.
Gone with her smile,
Are the remnants of wonder,
Impossible to hold,
When buried asunder.

The most painful eve,
One will ever fight,
Is the painful death,
Of dawn to night.
While life is a trial,
Filled with ladders and rope,
There is nothing more painful,
Than forgetting to

Copyright (c)David DeSantis

Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Topic(s) of this poem: life and death
Maryah Delong 30 April 2008

This is amazing. The flow, the emotion and clear expression of pain... wow. I wish I could write like this. You are truly creative, and i think this is one of my many favorites of yours.

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R H 01 May 2008

This one is going straight into my favorites - penned with such eloquence and insight, you masterfully attach the pain and potency of loving to time's passing light...powerful stuff here David - love it. j xx

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Barbara Terry 01 May 2008

Yes David, I can relate in more ways and reasons than I care to admit. But I can't get rid of the my mother's eyes, because I look exactly like her. When I was very young, people said if we were the same age, we could be twins. My love life is dwindling to an ember, and soon the fire will be dead. You have written a bible of life here, David, and it did trigger a few horrific moments for me, but as you said in your comments to my poem, 'I Feel Like A Failure', never lose hope. I won't, because my goal is so important to me, that I have to push forward with the strength of a pride of lions. Thank you for sharing this with us, and for your comments on mine. Love & hugs, Barbara

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Alison Cassidy 03 May 2008

David, this one reminds me of those children's stories that build on a theme and repeat a motive. I have watched many child watch with eye's round with anticipation as they anticipate the net stanza, . Your poem has something of this feeling of expectation - which is why it works so well. Your build on your theme of loss and each stanza lifts the bar of your imagination. Excellent poem. love, Allie ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

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Rani Turton 04 May 2008

For me the second stanza was unbearably moving. The whole text was written with considerable reflection and it has an emotional tinge that srtikes a chord undeniably within the reader. Thanks David for this one.

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Ben Gieske 31 January 2009

Nicely crafted. I like the format. I like all your metaphors. This one is very striking for me. The mirror once broke, Shall repair a new, But in its reflection, A darker view “There is nothing more painful, /Than forgetting to hope.” This is especially meaningful since you aligned it with eve and dawn.

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Tj Becker 03 October 2008

I have to say this was amazing. Your vocabulary, the emotion, flow, rhyme perfection. The mirror once broke, Shall repair a new, But in its reflection, A darker view. - what awesome lines..A good read in every way

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Delilah Miller 10 July 2008

It does mimic the life cycle very well. I suppose you wrote this in a very dark hour, because your other poems are so fair and hopeful. The point of this was, after all, to not forget to hope Delilah

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Robert Howard 29 May 2008

Great poem - well structured.

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Ashley Dickerson 27 May 2008

you were right, i believe that this is my favorite.

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