A Prisoner's Regret Poem by Walter Miring'u Nyagah

At a time like this
I try to dismiss
These screaming memories
But seemingly,
They engage a melee
Tormenting my every thought
Oh! I wish I did not!

In my mind they shout
Hoping soon they'll be out,
I smile and relax
But no! They hit like an axe
Bruising my thinking tool
To forget them I ought
Arggh! I wish I did not!

My mind a shelter for them
Slowly growing a stem
A blast from my past
Which like Iron should rust
They indeed must!
But by them I am caught
Damn! I wish I did not!

A life I lived
But did not forgive
I only killed
And the deal was sealed
Lives I ended a lot
Grr! I wish I did not!

Tall behind bars
For having taken cars
And robbing grand banks
The ransom I got
Would sink a boat
Mmh! I wish I did not!

At this season
I see no reason
To leave this lonely prison
For within these archaic walls
Is a heart and soul that must rot
I still say, I wish I did not!

Tired of these days
Must bring them to an end
That's what my friend says
'There's nothing you'll mend
Just hold onto this knife
And let it do the rest'
I must end this life
After all it was never the best
For a knife through this chest
Will end this never-ending test
See you in another world...

I am now in the hospital bed
Realizing I was wrong
To let regret rule my head
None can soothe not even a song
Just staring at the ceiling instead
Making friends with its shadows along
The stain on my cloth so red
I hope this is where I belong
Far much better than the criminal hole
That in it was to rot my soul

I have to forget this
Force it at the back of my mind
My family I really miss
Can't tell if they're alive
Or living like a flock of geese
My mind a bee-hive
Of whether I'll be around in five
To see her radiant smile
Just for a while

Just wish I could return to the past
To undo this that is cursed
But no, I simply can't
I simply can't rewind
I'll just have to find
A way to tame this mind
I wish I wish I was a fish
So these chains to unleash
And swim far far away
But no, I simply can't
I'll just have to stay
For there is no way!