A Smoke With Her Poem by jathin aka jesuzz

A Smoke With Her

Rating: 2.8


Like the silent burn of my lit cigarette,
Growing ever so bright, fueled by its own death,
She was there waiting for whom, I know not
Like the fumes of my lit cigarette,
Fading away into emptiness, her gaze
Wanderd, aimless, for whome I know not.

With each breath of ecstasy,
My eyes rolled in.
With each passing minute of agony
Her tears rolled out.

The women I speak of, I know not
Her feelings, I know not,
Her reasons I know not.

Like a shallow bureaucrat, I watched
Like a taciturn spectator, I watched
With the cigarette trodden underfoot, i
Walked into the empty compartment.

Looked out of the stained window, I did
The wooden benches on the vacant platform felt warm.
Warmer than that cold morning.
Warmer than my callous heart.

COMMENTS OF THE POEM
John Tiong Chunghoo 04 October 2008

like they say it is all in the mind. keep on jathin.

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Reshma Ramesh 05 October 2008

beautiful........well done

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Anand Madhukar 10 September 2009

An excellent write with some wonderful similes.

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Rosalita Fernandez 28 March 2009

Beautiful.......................

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Rinzu Susan Rajan 22 November 2008

aimless...painful...beautiful... A 10

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Joseph Poewhit 30 October 2008

Better off with the tobacco and just wait - like a moth to a flame

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Kesav Easwaran 16 October 2008

good piece, Jathin...an artful write...a memory as if the ashes down your feet...a shade of her you know not...as if the smoke that vanishes in the thin air...10

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