A Woman's Handbag Poem by Bridgid Patrick

A Woman's Handbag

Rating: 4.5

The handbag is a rare delight, it's like Aladdin's cave,
All sorts of things are hidden there, that females like to save,
It's black and big and heavy, with a nice long shoulder strap,
Its weighted down with odds and sods and other stuff like that.

But the lady finds just what she wants deep down amongst her treasure,
Of keys and pins and leg hair wax and a metric rule for measure,
The remnants of forgotten ills with aspirins held so dear,
Birth control and other pills with labels quite unclear.

Calorie counters, cotton buds, old lottery tickets too,
Handkerchiefs and white tissues for visiting the loo,
A book of stamps, a tube of glue, letters from I don't know who,
Horoscopes with personal star, petrol vouchers for the car.

Perfume loaded by the box, knitting needles, pairs of socks,
Bank statements and counterfoils, sachet samples, body oils,
Cassette tapes and eye mascara, postcards from old Connamara
Itineraries for keep-fit classes, lipstick and a pair of glasses,

Emery boards, a pot of Vic, silver tweezers, half a brick,
Screwdriver, spanners, ball of wool, ancient notebook partly full,
Bristle brush for long tresses, photographs and addresses,
Polo mints and a mobile phone just in case they stray from home.

Cheque book stubs, leather gloves, insect spray for the shrubs,
Driving licence, bingo card, cuttings from the paper,
Favourite verse, loaded purse and a windscreen scraper,
Credit cards, safety razor, golden buttons off a blazer.

But best of all it is a friend, that's with them every day,
Slung upon the shoulder in a casual way,
And don't forget it is a club - not of the member kind,
But the bag itself when wielded right could change a mugger's mind.

Ivy Christou 02 February 2006

such a delightful poem! ! i'm into handbags as well, they are so convenient :) HBH

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Mary Nagy 02 February 2006

Bridgid, I bet this describes most womens purses! I really enjoyed this....I almost felt like I was peeking through your purse as I read this and discovered each new item! Very nice! (I'm very odd.......I hate carrying purses and only do out of need. My husband laughs like crazy when we go somewhere and I have to carry a purse for my drivers license and change purse but that's not enough to fill it properly....so I would dig through the junk drawers and fill it with things like rolls of duct tape, scissors, books, whatever I could find!) Great poem! Sincerely, Mary

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Chuck Audette 31 August 2009

really got into the swing of this rhyme by the end line! But if it gets heavy, always remember, on that mugger, you can aim for the member!

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Jackelin J. Jarvis 28 March 2007

Somehow I envy Brit's when it comes to writing, yours is terrific, well thought- I wish I could take lessons from you all for words, and way of speech! Robert Hann sent me to find you! ! He told me you like to write....kids books?

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Peter A. Crowther 10 October 2006

How big is this handbag? It sounds as though it must be as big as a kitbag to tote around. Lovely sustained rhythm to the poem

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Sylvia Spencer 24 February 2006

Gyp's has said it all, I could tell you some stories about my hand bag, but it would have to pass the cencors/ fantistic poem cheers Sylvie

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Hugh Cobb 02 February 2006

Brigid, A most delightful write but be careful! All men secretly desire to know the contents of a woman's purse and this would make their direst suspicions correct. Very amusing and well-done. Warmly, Hugh

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