Ayobami Idowu


An Unreasonable Request - Poem by Ayobami Idowu

Daddy

Sometimes you are funny but your laughter is weak

I find you yearning but you never speak

How long

How much of my youth must go buy

You never watched me cry

My tears are long and my words neglect speech

I find you yearning but still my soul is weak.

Help me daddy

I do not understand the world

If you had hugged me once

I would have seen more love

I would have felt truth more and never had to find it

Help me daddy

Help me speak.

I live and I do not know

If only I could have felt you show

How much you loved to watch me grow

I do not trust the world

They are much too mean

Why did you adorn your girlfriends with riches

In search of your former youth

67 alone

we all turn our heads.

Your truth is raping reality

You lay awake in empty beds

They lied to you

They all lied

They said you were pretty

While true, they still lied

Do you feel their love now?

Youth often hides decay

But where is your youth now

Where are those girls

Pretty in riches

Batting their eyes

We all need someone

You did not know?

I needed you

I needed you to show

Show me life

So I wouldn't have to search so hard

And believe in something more real

Than I ever had.

Where are those girls now

When you call my phone

What do they have to say

When you are all alone?

The world can not give you truth

It does not know it

Everything is absent

All but the search to know

What does it feel like?

Now that you are there

Did you ever think that

There'd be no one here?

Now my heart is pounding

For something that is old

Something that has lived longer than my soul

Why do you think that is?

Was I here before?

Or did your mother teach you

The life I adore?

In her bitter, spoilt ways

Did she engage your life?

Did she make you believe a person could never die?

Why didn't you make me believe it too

When I was ten I thought of you

Maybe you'd never watch your grandchildren grow

Like you never really watched me grow

Daddy

Sometimes your speech is very funny

But your laughter is slow.

Did you realize I was laden with fear

Because no one ever taught me that you'd always be there

What was the curse you had to live through

That your father would pass quietly

And possibly you?

I wish you told me some things so now I'd know

Daddy

Did you see this coming?

Did you see me growing

I'm not a little girl

Not the one you let lose her pearls

At Grandmas house when I was five, then six

Not the one who lost six of her front teeth

I'm losing my heart now

But you won't see that too

To something more ancient and wiser than you

Something that would see children grow

And know the truth in lying tongues

Who say your youth will never age

Who pretend to love you more

Than the causes your children engage

Who do anything and stay long

As long as you look strong

As long as youth does not betray you

As long as wealth does not evade you

As long as everything that is not you pretends to be your very life

Something eager to watch my love grow

Something deeper and closer to the reality of God

Daddy

You made me laugh

But your laughter makes me weak.

And today I've decided

To no longer be sick.


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Poem Submitted: Wednesday, June 22, 2005



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