An Unreasonable Request - Poem by Ayobami Idowu
Sometimes you are funny but your laughter is weak
I find you yearning but you never speak
How much of my youth must go buy
You never watched me cry
My tears are long and my words neglect speech
I find you yearning but still my soul is weak.
Help me daddy
I do not understand the world
If you had hugged me once
I would have seen more love
I would have felt truth more and never had to find it
Help me daddy
Help me speak.
I live and I do not know
If only I could have felt you show
How much you loved to watch me grow
I do not trust the world
They are much too mean
Why did you adorn your girlfriends with riches
In search of your former youth
we all turn our heads.
Your truth is raping reality
You lay awake in empty beds
They lied to you
They all lied
They said you were pretty
While true, they still lied
Do you feel their love now?
Youth often hides decay
But where is your youth now
Where are those girls
Pretty in riches
Batting their eyes
We all need someone
You did not know?
I needed you
I needed you to show
Show me life
So I wouldn't have to search so hard
And believe in something more real
Than I ever had.
Where are those girls now
When you call my phone
What do they have to say
When you are all alone?
The world can not give you truth
It does not know it
Everything is absent
All but the search to know
What does it feel like?
Now that you are there
Did you ever think that
There'd be no one here?
Now my heart is pounding
For something that is old
Something that has lived longer than my soul
Why do you think that is?
Was I here before?
Or did your mother teach you
The life I adore?
In her bitter, spoilt ways
Did she engage your life?
Did she make you believe a person could never die?
Why didn't you make me believe it too
When I was ten I thought of you
Maybe you'd never watch your grandchildren grow
Like you never really watched me grow
Sometimes your speech is very funny
But your laughter is slow.
Did you realize I was laden with fear
Because no one ever taught me that you'd always be there
What was the curse you had to live through
That your father would pass quietly
And possibly you?
I wish you told me some things so now I'd know
Did you see this coming?
Did you see me growing
I'm not a little girl
Not the one you let lose her pearls
At Grandmas house when I was five, then six
Not the one who lost six of her front teeth
I'm losing my heart now
But you won't see that too
To something more ancient and wiser than you
Something that would see children grow
And know the truth in lying tongues
Who say your youth will never age
Who pretend to love you more
Than the causes your children engage
Who do anything and stay long
As long as you look strong
As long as youth does not betray you
As long as wealth does not evade you
As long as everything that is not you pretends to be your very life
Something eager to watch my love grow
Something deeper and closer to the reality of God
You made me laugh
But your laughter makes me weak.
And today I've decided
To no longer be sick.
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