Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Dream Within A Dream

Rating: 4.3
I opened the door in answer to a knock
And seeing who stood there
Gave me quite a shock
For there stood a fairy
Looking sad and forlorn
Her appearance was dirty
Disheveled and worn
Her shoes were all dusty
Her hair a tangled mess
She had knots in her ribbons
And rips in her dress
Her face was brown smudged
Her lips cracked and dry
Her wings were so tattered
She no doubt could not fly.

I welcomed her in
And we sat down for tea
This bedraggled little sprite
And still in shock me
I asked her to tell me
The tale of her plight
She looked at me sadly
Tears made her eyes bright
As she told me a story
Of swords, lords and knights.

Her beloved handsome Prince
Whom she loved with all breath
Had been wounded lay bleeding
So very near death
Hunched over his body
While shouting to the skies
He grasped her hand tightly
Gazed into her eyes
He managed to whisper
With last dying breath
Please go on without me
In life find the best.

As she finished her story
I awoke with a start
To a knock on my door
And I felt my heart stop
I snuck to the window
And gave out a peek
On the porch stood a unicorn
With an ice cream cone horn...
Colleen Courtney
Topic(s) of this poem: fantasy
I started out trying for something whimsical which I have never attempted before, but as I got going I was led in a totally different direction. So whether for good or ill
this is what emerged. It ended up being one of those where the premise of it is that you think you've awoken from a dream only to realize in your dream that you're still dreaming.
Jeez, I hate when this happens! ! !
Stan Rodriguez 17 May 2018
interesting poem - enjoyed it very much - nice to be able to go out of the box.
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Richard Wlodarski 09 March 2017
Your poem was a perfect remedy for a stress filled week. Fun. Suspenseful. Sad. Yet optimistic. Vivid imagery. And what a great ending! Very well done. Congrats!
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Maria Goodison 01 April 2016
Awesome a good read
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Tyrone Gayle 18 September 2014
Wow, poems like these remind me why I fell in love with poetry. You ignited my fascination with this troubled fairy then left me suddenly in suspense as you transcended into another dream. Your manipulation of words was magical.
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Words' Knight 26 August 2014
Your precise description of the girl absorbed me into a dream.
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Bri Edwards 02 August 2014
you already have SO MANY comments! maybe you don't NEED another? but i guess i'll give ya one anyway. but first i had to be sure one of mine was not already submitted; ...not! NOW i suppose i'll have to read the poem, though after perusing the comments, i could probably come up with some passable comment WITHOUT reading the poem. i feel like i'm in a dream already. :) [ i actually had read the first stanza before writing what preceded this sentence, and it DID sound somewhat familiar. maybe you wrote something similar and i read IT? hmmm? ] ice cream cone horn... my favorite part...........was there ice cream dripping into its eyes? ? great rhyming! but i liked how you felt free (apparently) to vary the rhyme pattern towards the ending. in the last stanza, start/stop was at least as rewarding as a rhyme pair. and unicorn/horn, though perhaps predictable, was nice, especially with the ice cream reference. thanks for sharing. :) bri (ok, to MyPoemList)
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Saadat Tahir 28 July 2014
hahaha.... lovely quite an unexpected turn....your unicorn appeared out of nowhere and with the desired effect... and a cone! :) your notes make it clearer... whimsical but fun. Even if it was your first passed way ahead. I was drawn to the poem by the topic, since i too have a poem of the same name like the old master E E Poe... Your poem is far from the darker shades that Poe wrote, which makes it even more unexpected. but bravo, you did a great job v nice liked
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Geetha Jayakumar 01 July 2014
Beautiful poem Colleen. Your poem is quiet interesting and it caught my attention till i finished reading the last line...Loved it.
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Valerie Dohren 26 June 2014
Very novel write Colleen, and quite a fascinating little story.
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Jasbir Chatterjee 24 June 2014
nice poem...I was touched...dream within a dream...lovely title...
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