Fieldglasses Poem by Tan Pratonix

Fieldglasses

Rating: 5.0


Suppose I was living on the bank of a river
Where ladies occasionally would come for a ride
In a boat with a friend or relative or lover;
And under the trees (all cosy inside,

I'd be watching their movements through a pair of fieldglasses)
Sometimes, when she reached for a fruit in the leaves,
Her skirt would ride up more than a couple of inches
For a refreshing glimpse of her thighs and her knees.

Then may be her lover, if he's Puritan-minded,
Would bashfully turn both his eyes to his oars;
But others, of course, are much more inclined to
Follow the techniques of Di Vitti Amore.

Meanwhile I would sip from a bottle of champagne
Or sometimes, I'd look up M. Bewick on birds;
There's an interesting book on African campaigns
By Field Marshal Montgomery; and Richard the Third

Is suitably Shakesperian to civilize habits
Like looking at rivers through glasses; the fields
Are alive in springtime with frolicking rabbits,
And amorous birds in billowy trees.

Friday, February 3, 2006
Topic(s) of this poem: love
COMMENTS OF THE POEM
John Libertus 13 April 2006

Your established meter goes to pieces in these ending lines: 'Meanwhile I would sip from a bottle of champagne' 'There's an interesting book on African campaigns' 'Flowers, lovers, and birds rustling the green leaves.' It is of course possible to change rhythm in a poem, but it must serve the music, and here, it doesn't. The sentiments expressed are appropriate for a lad 17-19 years old, and these are less obsessed and freer-minded than one might expect, but the poem's light-hearted mood throws a greater burden on the quality of the music, which needs to be perfect for this to succeed.

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Declan McHenry 28 February 2006

A fun write Tan.

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David Gerardino 27 February 2006

Is suitably Shakesperian, NICE LINE, ...........................

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Duncan Wyllie 26 February 2006

Very interesting and fun poem.You've spent quiet some time on this and it has paid off.Love Duncan

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Sylvia Spencer 16 February 2006

No wonder you wanted me to read your work, you write with humor and I love it. I shall read a lot more of your work. Cheers Sylvie.

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Tom Billsborough 26 October 2017

Now this is a delightful poem, Tan. It evokes those lazy afternoons and reminds me of a Seurat painting on the banks of the Seine. A little inspection of pretty ladies and a good book to read. Mind you I avoid Richard 111 because of Shakespeare's calumny against our last true monarch. You must start writing again, my friend.

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Patti Masterman 26 November 2016

Your rhymes are impeccable. You are an Olympian writer. (Keep writing. The world's your oyster.)

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Don Mcwilliams 04 March 2008

Wonderful, Tan, particularly in view of your age at the time. May the Muse be reawakened. Don

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Joyce Chelmo 19 April 2006

Fascinating write Tan. I never know what to say when I really like a poem. But your imagery is awesome and the poem is in tight form. Well written. Red

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Brian Dorn 17 April 2006

A wonderful fantasy brought to life! Brian

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Tan Pratonix

Tan Pratonix

Triolet, Mauritius
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