Sand-Storm Poems: 191 / 500

Grains Of Sand[ 3 Tanka ]

Rating: 5.0

We are grains of sand
In the shoreline of this life
Small fine grains that breath
We live for just a moment
In the memory of time

Time wash us away
From the shoreline to the sea
Waves bring us farther
Down into the dark ocean
Into its abysmal depth

New sand grains appear
In the shoreline of this life
As new life begins
Like the emergence of spring
That brings renewal to life

© Nudershada M. Cabanes

Saturday, March 10, 2018
Sand-Storm Poems: 191 / 500
Topic(s) of this poem: life
Bri Edwards 01 April 2018

i think a common error: breath (the noun) should be breathe (the verb): i used to make the mistake, but now i think of the 'long E sound' in 'breathe' to remember that it is the word ending in e. breath and breathe are pronounced a bit differently, in case you didn't know or can't tell the difference. i know a Japanese woman who can't tell the difference between some English words which are spelled differently and pronounced differently. (to continue) ...

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Sylvia Frances Chan 22 March 2018

Being aware that we are grains of sand in the shoreline of this life....Amazingly thought, the idea that we live just a moment in the memory of time....WOW! That's truly great and impressing. I love all 3 Tanka, all 3 are as graciously created and thought thoroughly. This is another tender poetic creation of the cycle of life. You are quite a philosopher, Thank you for sharing these mesmerizing Tanka, Nudershada.

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Michael Walker 20 March 2018

A striking opening metaphor-'we are grains of sand'. Then we get swept out into the ocean of sorrow, but get back to the shoreline of hope. Brilliant.

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Paul Brookes 14 March 2018

A beautifully lyric poem of mans insignificance in tide and time great piece thanks

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Chris Embrick 13 March 2018

No matter how beautiful the sand. Time respects everyone equally. When beauty is lost, it is soon replaced. and life goes on. A beautiful poem to ponder. Thank you for a great write.

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Dr Antony Theodore 10 June 2018

Small fine grains that breath We live for just a moment In the memory of time. do u believe in rebirth.... grain washed away reached the depths of the sea and then reappear on the shores............. is it rebirth or reincarnation? ? thank u dear poetess. tony

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Sylvia Frances Chan 23 April 2018

Mesmerizing Tanka (3) , most beautiful, Nudershada! I am so impressed by your words as: We are grains of sand In the shoreline of this life...Excellent metaphors must I say. I have revisited this poem. Thank you so much for creating. A 10 and much much more!

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Robert Murray Smith 15 April 2018

This poem uses the metaphor of sand to show how we exist.

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Michael Walker 10 April 2018

Bri is right about 'breathe'. Still, three tankas that compare people to grains of sand near the ocean of life. Brilliant extended metaphor.

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Bri Edwards 01 April 2018

(cont.) ..2nd stanza: i think it should say Time washes.... and i also think of waves washing things onto the shore rather than into the ocean, but i'm not sure of all the water-movement technicalities! ! ! ! Gee, i don't know that i'd like going to an abysmal depth. it could be too cold and/or dark for my tastes! :) ok, i guess this is an allegory/metaphor. i like it, taken 'literally' or symbolically. nice. bri :)

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