Jesus At Anger Management Poem by Brian Mayo
Jesus At Anger Management
Hi.
My name is Jesus and I’m here because some people seem to think I have a problem with anger.
(chorus of ‘Hi Jesus, Hello Jesus’ from other group members.)
Group Leader Larry: We’re very happy to have you with us Jesus. Can you tell us a little about yourself?
Jesus: Ummm, …not a lot to tell… I’m the son of a carpenter and a fisher of men.
Larry: (confused) I’m sorry, what? Did you say ‘you fish for men’? (group begins murmuring)
Jesus: (startled) No! no… a fisher OF m- oh, never mind; it’s a long story.
Larry: Well, Jesus, why don’t you tell us a little about the circumstances that brought you to anger management?
Jesus: Hey, I don’t really think I have a problem with anger, you know? But a few good friends suggested it might be wise to get a few sessions under my sash before I go in front of the judge.
Larry: (flipping through a sheaf of papers) I didn’t realize you had an impending court appearance. Are you referring to the incident with the moneychangers?
Jesus: Ummm, no. I got off with a slap on the wrist for that one.
Larry: (reading from his notes) I understand you tipped over a small coin-operated fountain and called a family of Philistines “a bunch of filthy goat-sodomizers”…?
Jesus: Those degenerates were selling sex-time with their goat! Right there in the church lobby!
Larry: Still, that’s pretty harsh language. (group murmurs their assent) You must’ve been pretty peeved.
Jesus: (admitting it) Yes, I was. I might not have been so upset, but there was a line for that goat winding around the damn building.
Larry: Ahhh, now we’re getting somewhere! It was the Philistine’s SUCCESS that bothered you!
Jesus: No! Well, yes, but no! I mean, I hated to see so many of my children feeding at the trough of sin...
Larry: You acted that way in front of your KIDS? Oh, man, I wish I hadn’t heard that… I’m required by Roman law to alert Social Services…
Satirical, humorous, and entertaining. Reads a bit like a script for some off the wall play. On Wes's comment, I've struggled to decide what is and is not a poem. I think ultimately it comes down to the person reading it. To be as cliche as possible perception is reality. Whether or not it's a poem, in my opinion, is arbitrary. The focal point here is your ability to humanize the most famous figure in history and make him relatable (flawed even) in our mind. Great write. Fun read. I wonder if it could be expanded? Part two?
Interesting concept .. I am thinking of parallel situations and my head is spinning. You are an entertainer, Brian It's not a poem though. the 8 is for the conc ept and imagination.
An 8 is better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick, as my father used to say. Thank you. My new motto: Were you not entertained? lol
Get thee behind me, Satan. No, seriously, you're behind me. No cuts allowed.. :)
Jesus truly manages anger through his power of knowledge and understanding. This is nice, wise and interesting poem shared here on religion topic....10
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
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5/6/2024 12:02:36 AM # 1.0.0.1119
i forgot to ask where the line is, but then i read Kelly's comment and saw he beat me to the punch(line?) . bri :) p.s. important question (at least for me) : male or female goat? ? ?