Bri Edwards

Gold Star - 125,893 Points (some time ago / Earth, i believe)

Mary's Pet....[humor; Human Nature; Pets; Scary? ; Grade School] - Poem by Bri Edwards

Mary was a little weird, a fact with which you'll soon agree.
And if this story sounds familiar, I hope you'll forgive...ME.
She attended Beavis Elementary, just around the block.
She left for school each school day, by eight a.m. by the clock.

Now, one day was 'Bring a Pet to School With You Day'.....;
that could turn out hectic, but NOT tragic most would say.
After all, what could eight-year-olds bring to class that could break ANY rule? ?
(Soon, you'll find you are wrong, my friend. Mary was weird.... and cruel.)

She could have taken her lamb to school, as in the nursery rhyme.
Her classmates would enjoy it. The thought's almost sublime.
But what instead did Mary take from her home menagerie?
Something cold and sinister that would make even teachers flee!

When Mary got to school that day no one paid her any mind.
(She was weird of course.) That she appeared with no pet was fine.
The day progressed quite nicely with dogs and cats; even one rat.
But Mary fidgeted more than usual in the BACK ROW where she sat.

Now as I said there were lots of cats and dogs (and one guinea pig, some birds):
that day the poor janitor was kept busy, sweeping up their turds.

Each child was given time in class, to show and talk about their pet,
but a half hour before the recess bell, Mary had not talked or shown one......yet!
When she was the last one left, who'd not stood at the teacher's desk,
the teacher, Mrs. Apple, called her up; she thought Mary was a PEST.

'Mary dear' (that's what Apple SAID, though it was NOT.....what she thought)
'you are now the last one, my dear, left to show us what you've brought.'

At that, with a smirk on her face, Mary reached for her cute rear;
one especially precocious boy thought 'her ass? ', with hope but ALSO fear.

So Mary reached down the back of her skirt, and SLOWLY she did take....
a two foot long, glistening-black, Tanzanian hooded cobra snake.

The teacher fled; some children did too, but SOME were mesmerized.
They could NOT believe what Mary had brought though they saw it with their eyes.
The 'Day' was NOT as successful as the principal hoped it'd be.
Five classmates died of cobra bites. Three are still in comas. Hee-hee.

(Nov.2012)

Topic(s) of this poem: pets


Poet's Notes about The Poem

WOULD YOU LIKE TO HAVE SCARY MARY IN your class? ? ? ? i would.

i added 'Tanzanian' in june 2014, 'in honor of' of PH poets S. zaynub Kamoonpuri (lives in Tanzania) and J.Brian Johnston (spent two years there in the Peace Corps) . hey, 'S', why is the 'z' a small z? :) bri


After some minor editing (October 2015) , i am about to place this poem into 'a showcase for PH poets' November, Section 'B'.

Comments about Mary's Pet....[humor; Human Nature; Pets; Scary? ; Grade School] by Bri Edwards

  • Don Kubicki (9/17/2019 1:37:00 PM)

    Hee hee! I agree Saints preserve us, (Report)Reply

    0 person liked.
    0 person did not like.
  • (8/2/2017 3:26:00 AM)

    Well, Bri, that beats any of my snake poems to bits. It's very funny indeed but you don't specify which orifice Mr Cobra had as a temporary resting place! I suppose you left that up to the reader.. I bet they didn't repeat that bring a Pet to School exercise! (Report)Reply

    0 person liked.
    0 person did not like.
  • Darlene Walsh (3/23/2015 4:44:00 PM)

    It was said long ago that Mary had a little lamb, but in different days and different times, Mary became Scary. A very funny poem and I loved the ending (not that I condone violence and tragedy) . My only questions are, Where was she hiding it all day? and Why didn't it bite Mary? I guess Mary was so Scary that even a cobra was afraid of her. And as far as having Scary Mary in my class, I've seen scarier, I've looked in the mirror.

    Darla :)
    (Report)Reply

    0 person liked.
    0 person did not like.
  • Darlene Walsh (3/23/2015 4:42:00 PM)

    It was said long ago that Mary had a little lamb, but in different days and different times, Mary became Scary. A very funny poem and I loved the ending (not that I condone violence and tragedy) . My only questions are, Where was she hiding it all day? and Why didn't it bite Mary? I guess Mary was so Scary that even a cobra was afraid of her.

    Darla :)
    (Report)Reply

    0 person liked.
    0 person did not like.
  • Stephen Katona (3/22/2015 10:41:00 PM)

    Awesome imagination. Very funny! (Report)Reply

    0 person liked.
    0 person did not like.
  • Eugene Levich (3/18/2014 8:49:00 PM)

    Saints preserve us! You're weirder than Mary! I love it! (Report)Reply

    0 person liked.
    0 person did not like.
Read all 6 comments »



Read this poem in other languages

This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.

I would like to translate this poem »

word flags


Poem Submitted: Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Poem Edited: Wednesday, October 28, 2015


Famous Poems

  1. Still I Rise
    Maya Angelou
  2. The Road Not Taken
    Robert Frost
  3. If You Forget Me
    Pablo Neruda
  4. Dreams
    Langston Hughes
  5. Annabel Lee
    Edgar Allan Poe
  6. Stopping By Woods On A Snowy Evening
    Robert Frost
  7. If
    Rudyard Kipling
  8. Do Not Stand At My Grave And Weep
    Mary Elizabeth Frye
  9. I Do Not Love You Except Because I Love You
    Pablo Neruda
  10. Television
    Roald Dahl
[Report Error]