Bri Edwards

Gold Star - 55,283 Points (some time ago / Earth, i believe)

Being Old: The Advantages And Disadvantages....... [(See The Title): Long; Personal? ; Humour? ] - Poem by Bri Edwards

For my poems, my friend Valsa George has a hunger.
She’s over fifty, but, compared to me, she is younger.
She suggested I write about ‘the advantages of being old’.
It’s a challenge, but, Valsa, on this idea you have sold......
me.

I – The Advantages

Retirement income though you’re done working.
[Why, now, are some of you readers smirking? ]
No alarm clocks waking you for your job.
More time to lie around home.....like a slob.

No more eight hour shifts sitting or standing.
No boss watching you closely, being demanding.
No more rush-hour five times a week.
NO customers to ‘grease’ so they won’t ‘squeak’.

NO children to raise and feed and clothe.
No need to help with homework which you did loathe.
NO need for razor or make-up five days a week.
NO need to be pushy when you’re really meek.

No pressure to stay fit by going each week to gym.
No pressure to diet conscientiously.....to stay slim.
No deciding “Who’s on top tonight? ” when libido goes.
MORE time now for computer and for late TV shows.

More time for those novels you’ve meant to read.
More time to enjoy your garden and more time to weed.
More time to buy lottery tickets at the Seven-Eleven.
Less time to wait for The Judgment..... which may see you to Heaven.

........................................ ..........................

[BUT, I can’t help it, Valsa; I’ve got to write more.
Now about DISadvantages 'you' can also look for.
Of course not all people are equal; you may suffer more than me!
Give us a few more years of growing old and... We... May... See.]

……………………………………………………………………………………………… ……….

II – The Disadvantages

Though you may have income, it may not be enough,
and if your pension plan fizzles....life can get really tough.
Money worries and new pains insomnia may cause.
It may be a losing battle for you against the 'Laws....
of Nature'!

Now hemorrhoids can cause sitting to be much less than fun.
Bad knees don’t allow standing, let alone allow you to run.
Your partner may now become your new UNwelcome boss.
Missing your daily commute may seem like a sad loss.

Grandchildren or even children may come “home to roost”.
They may become a nuisance....which once had been a “boost”.
Now your face and neck (and other parts) begin to sag;
over your head you now may wish to place a bag.

You skip the gym and the diet, but now your body begins to riot.
And when out of shape it’s hard to get back...”in”. Just try it!
You don’t mind and may even enjoy when you lose the urge for sex,
but your partner may not be prepared for the change....and may become your “ex”.

You may have time now, but have lost what’s needed for reading.
You may have all kinds of will, but no way to do the work of weeding.
Lottery tickets may give you hopes, but allow your debts to swell.
AND now you’re CLOSER to The Judgment.....and you may go to Hell! !


(November 11,2013)


Poet's Notes about The Poem

okay! i'm 65. valsa's age (if true) is on her ph page. some of the poem is directly in reference to me but i'm not telling which parts. don't ask about valsa; at least don't ask ME!
hopefully you readers don't experience ALL of the disadvantages; a few MIGHT do you good....maybe not. if you are 'young', take my words as a warning, but don't give up on your life just because of this poem. i think i have other poems to do that. :)

Comments about Being Old: The Advantages And Disadvantages....... [(See The Title): Long; Personal? ; Humour? ] by Bri Edwards

  • Liza Sudina (4/3/2017 11:46:00 PM)


    This poem made me smile!
    I especially loved the line:
    NO need to be pushy when you’re really meek.
    to add to advantages - some time left to do GOOD deeds, GOOD deeds, GOOD deeds! what I fail to do!
    That is what time given to us is all about, I think!
    You did one GOOD deed for me and for all of us with your April Showcase! so thank you!
    And stay blessed, dear Bri!
    (Report) Reply

    0 person liked.
    0 person did not like.
  • (3/24/2017 12:30:00 AM)


    Bri, you crack me up. Your poem is dead-on. I think that you've missed your calling in life. Ever try stand-up comedy? You'd be great at it. Especially if you incorporated your poetry. I've recently turned 65. And I've decided that I'm not gonna vegetate. I'm gonna keep working as long as I can. I'm transforming some of my poems into songs (something I've always wanted to do) . I'm dancing now more than ever. And loving every moment of it. Well, you get the picture. The key is not to sit around and become depressed. Write poetry. And songs. Dance. And sing karaoke. Tell jokes. And laugh. Laugh. Laugh. And especially, be kind to one another! (Report) Reply

  • (3/23/2017 11:30:00 PM)


    Bri, I think I can relate to all this. Or, I am at the age when everything you say is starting to make perfect sense. I used to think the great Grouch had a great one-liner.....I'm not so sure any more. He might not have had comedy in mind with....Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough. (or something like that) (Report) Reply

  • Stuart Munro (2/28/2017 4:18:00 PM)


    Bri, really like your humour, I'm old and I really enjoy it I love creaking around and being treated as an old person
    I've always from a young age wanted to be old, I wanted grey hair when I was five, , I used to practice with my grandad S Zimmer frame when I was twelve, and used to enjoy losing my teeth, when I was fifteen I got arrested for hanging around old folks home and stealing a Wiltshire home delivery meal,
    (Report) Reply

  • Simone Inez Harriman (12/13/2016 4:13:00 PM)

    Love it
    Reading the advantages I found myself nodding in agreement. I am so looking forward to my retirement however I have a few more years to go. The disadvantages really balanced the pluses. One does wonder if retirement is affordable when you still have the strength to work and in my case although I do love my job, the shift work takes it's toll in living tiredness. Well done Bri very much enjoyed. (Report) Reply

  • Atasha Williams (5/24/2016 1:04:00 PM)


    Great work Bri. Great description of Life after you've been thru most Life.
    I thoroughly enjoyed. I like long poems that captivate my attention from beginning to end.
    (Report) Reply

  • Judith Blatherwick (5/20/2016 3:13:00 AM)


    A fabulous read. You seem to have it all covered! The good and bad to look forward to. Thank you. I will revisit this poem as I advance towards old age and I am sure at various stages I will see my own situation. (Report) Reply

  • Is It Poetry (5/17/2016 6:51:00 PM)


    Knowing that death has bookmarked U.S.
    Is a fine line most of U.S.
    walk like a tight rope at great heights, a foot in the air.
    But what of youth?
    Everything's backwards no thought about death
    thinking we will live forever.
    Having kids being one nothing ever happened.. James
    (Report) Reply

  • Deepanshu Malik (3/24/2016 8:13:00 AM)


    it felt good when i am reading your poems, please read my new poem oh my dadi(grandma) and suggest me, i think that you will understand my pain (Report) Reply

  • Wes Vogler (11/22/2015 10:48:00 AM)


    This gives me encouragement to write just any old way I dang well feel like writing. I have been on this site less than a month and am just now discovering how diversified it is. I am so grateful to have discovered you bunch of freaks (sob) It is nice to come home. What's with this timer throwing us into the next poem? You write good stuff (Report) Reply

  • (10/15/2015 10:10:00 AM)


    I managed to reach the part about heaven when my eyesight started failing.
    I'll leave it as that. Thanks for the good news!
    (Report) Reply

  • Gary H (10/10/2015 8:07:00 PM)


    Geez this one was long, but very good thats for true. (Report) Reply

  • (6/23/2015 6:24:00 AM)


    Well well well as the years condemn you turn into a comedian and I enjoyed your ploy into life at the rear end of it...That's the way to travel ...regards (Report) Reply

  • Howard 'the motivational poet' Simon (5/22/2015 5:08:00 PM)


    Wonderful words of wisdom that are so practical and real Bri. Well done! (Report) Reply

  • Akhtar Jawad (4/30/2015 4:32:00 AM)


    Dear Bri, it's really wonderful....................10 (Report) Reply

  • Noreen Carden (4/28/2015 11:26:00 AM)


    Good one Bri really enjoyed this one I am looking forward to my retirement if I could I would retire today and enjoy myself reading your funny poems (Report) Reply

  • Stephen Katona (3/23/2015 8:05:00 PM)


    Wrinkled wit at its best. Growing old guarantees we'll never be bored. There are so many changes and challenges to laugh at and you've done a great job putting them together. (Report) Reply

  • Kim Barney (3/9/2015 6:13:00 PM)


    Enjoyed this poem very much, Bri. I'm older than you are, and have two or three of my own old age poems on this website. I think I actually called one of them OLD AGE. Another was HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ANCIENT ONE. There are a couple of others that aren't so much about old age as they are about health issues, such as CHARLEY HORSE, MUSCLES ON MY MUSCLES, and WHICH DOCTOR?
    Good work. Keep on writing!
    (Report) Reply

  • (2/27/2015 10:24:00 AM)


    NOOOOO, anyways it was humorous.: P (Report) Reply

  • (10/7/2014 4:19:00 PM)


    Well done, Bri, you've told the world how I feel. Enjoyed the humour, nice one. (Report) Reply

Read all 27 comments »




Read this poem in other languages

This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.

I would like to translate this poem »

word flags

What do you think this poem is about?



Poem Submitted: Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Poem Edited: Tuesday, November 12, 2013


[Report Error]