Being Old: The Advantages And Disadvantages....... [(See The Title): Long; Personal? ; Humour? ] Poem by Bri Edwards

Being Old: The Advantages And Disadvantages....... [(See The Title): Long; Personal? ; Humour? ]

Rating: 4.9

For my poems, my friend Valsa George has a hunger.
She’s over fifty, but, compared to me, she is younger.
She suggested I write about ‘the advantages of being old’.
It’s a challenge, but, Valsa, on this idea you have sold......

I – The Advantages

Retirement income though you’re done working.
[Why, now, are some of you readers smirking? ]
No alarm clocks waking you for your job.
More time to lie around a slob.

No more eight hour shifts sitting or standing.
No boss watching you closely, being demanding.
No more rush-hour five times a week.
NO customers to ‘grease’ so they won’t ‘squeak’.

NO children to raise and feed and clothe.
No need to help with homework which you did loathe.
NO need for razor or make-up five days a week.
NO need to be pushy when you’re really meek.

No pressure to stay fit by going each week to gym.
No pressure to diet stay slim.
No deciding “Who’s on top tonight? ” when libido goes.
MORE time now for computer and for late TV shows.

More time for those novels you’ve meant to read.
More time to enjoy your garden and more time to weed.
More time to buy lottery tickets at the Seven-Eleven.
Less time to wait for The Judgment..... which may see you to Heaven.


[BUT, I can’t help it, Valsa; I’ve got to write more.
Now about DISadvantages 'you' can also look for.
Of course not all people are equal; you may suffer more than me!
Give us a few more years of growing old and... We... May... See.]


II – The Disadvantages

Though you may have income, it may not be enough,
and if your pension plan can get really tough.
Money worries and new pains insomnia may cause.
It may be a losing battle for you against the 'Laws....
of Nature'!

Now hemorrhoids can cause sitting to be much less than fun.
Bad knees don’t allow standing, let alone allow you to run.
Your partner may now become your new UNwelcome boss.
Missing your daily commute may seem like a sad loss.

Grandchildren or even children may come “home to roost”.
They may become a nuisance....which once had been a “boost”.
Now your face and neck (and other parts) begin to sag;
over your head you now may wish to place a bag.

You skip the gym and the diet, but now your body begins to riot.
And when out of shape it’s hard to get back...”in”. Just try it!
You don’t mind and may even enjoy when you lose the urge for sex,
but your partner may not be prepared for the change....and may become your “ex”.

You may have time now, but have lost what’s needed for reading.
You may have all kinds of will, but no way to do the work of weeding.
Lottery tickets may give you hopes, but allow your debts to swell.
AND now you’re CLOSER to The Judgment.....and you may go to Hell! !

(November 11,2013)

okay! i'm 65. valsa's age (if true) is on her ph page. some of the poem is directly in reference to me but i'm not telling which parts. don't ask about valsa; at least don't ask ME!
hopefully you readers don't experience ALL of the disadvantages; a few MIGHT do you good....maybe not. if you are 'young', take my words as a warning, but don't give up on your life just because of this poem. i think i have other poems to do that. :)
Achill Lad 07 October 2014

Well done, Bri, you've told the world how I feel. Enjoyed the humour, nice one.

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Poetheart Morgan 12 November 2013

kakakakakakakakakakkakakakakakakakakakakaka! ! ! ! I am stroll for that! ! ! ! KAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAK Very good Poet. Nothing like be real......Thanks i have to run for be the first to say something for you....

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Elena Plotkin 13 November 2013

Fantastic write, Enjoyable read. Well done! ! 10++.

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Sochukwu Ivye 03 October 2017

Haha. From the king of pun himself. It's a clear mirror of aging and senility. I was mostly appetized by the poet's humour with which he weaves his verses each time. A clear window to the unmet age. Well done, poet.

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Dr Dillip K Swain 04 December 2017

I am below fifty….Your poem reveals the real life situation, the pros and cons of life’s journey somewhere to contemplate and comprehend! So nicely crafted…gives a precise note so precious for us to understand and to follow suit! I hugely applaud the grand concept that a great poetess has implanted in your poetic soul. I would love to take it to my list of favorite poems. Thanks a lot dear sir I loved your poem!

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soren Barrett 06 April 2022

I enjoyed this write, it reminded me of one I did some time ago called 'The perfect specimen' As we grow old we think of these things. I liked the flow of the poem its rhyme and the positive and negative aspects.

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Rod Mendieta 29 December 2021

Clicked on the Five Stars icon and PH said I cannot vote because I already did. Ah well, you didn't mention memory fading out a bit being an issue so maybe it's just me!

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Cowboy Ron Williams 20 April 2021

I'm only eighty, so I'll let you know when I start getting old.

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Luo Zhihai 19 January 2021

Life after retirement is very leisurely. It's not easy to have a good day.

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Clyde King 22 November 2020

Great poem! I enjoyed it very much. I’m nearly 69, almost as OLD as you are, so I can empathize. Thanks for noticing the missing quotation marks. Yes, I did the wood cut as Mike King.

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